Politics - News Analysis

Fox News Blames the Shortage of Chick-fil-A Sauce on… Joe Biden

We used to get angry when Fox News would put an obvious conservative spin on events, leaving out critical context, or failing to note something the Democrats said or did in response, things like that. Then we got angry when we learned that the Fox producers and Roger Ailes worked in direct concert with the RNC and the pols in Washington(When the idea of pure “propaganda” really set in). Hannity campaigned with Trump, we’re not sure anyone even got angry about it because the two just so obviously belong in the same hell. But now Fox News looks to be going “all-in” with respect to Qanon-level analysis, conspiracy thinking, even headlines.

How else does one explain Fox News’ website screaming out a headline that reads: Chick-fil-A sauce shortage blamed on ‘Joe Biden’s America’?

A very logical question would be What. The. Fck. did Joe Biden do that limited Chick-fil-A’s access to its sauce?

But you won’t ask that logical question because you know that the answer is “Nothing,” he did “nothing,” about anyone’s sauce! And you know that because unlike the FOX reader, you’re not that gaw-damned stupid!

Backstory? Chick-fil-A announced that some of the restaurants would face a sauce shortage due to the Colonial Pipeline cyber attack. Evidently, Trump can allow an epidemic to rampage through the U.S. that actually closes Chic-fil-A down for long periods, but that was okay because MAGA and China that’s why. When a cyberattack shuts down a major pipeline (very temporarily) every consequence rippling out is Joe Biden’s fault. One consequence is that Chick-fil-A might have less sauce. (What type of gas are they putting in the sauce?)

Even worse, FOX got the “story” simply from the fact that other MAGAs were “saying” the same. This is the ultimate “cover what people are saying” story. According to FOX’s actual “article:”

Following multiple reports of the popular fast food restaurant limiting how many Chick-fil-A sauce packets each customer is allowed, social media users took to Twitter to express their outrage – not at the restaurant – but at President Joe Biden.

“Joe Biden’s America,” Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt tweeted.

“Joe Biden is destroying America,” Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) wrote. Rep.

Lauren Boebert (R-CO) asked if there is “no limit to how awful Biden’s America can get.”

That’s it, that is the story. Those three tweets created the story. We want to call special attention to Lauren Boebert. We firmly believe that she should be forced to attend a funeral a day, either from COVID victims or victims of g*n vi*lence to get an idea of which things are “awful” and which things are merely… “annoying”?

Is the sauce that good? Some of us refuse to eat there because we won’t support what they stand for. Never mind, we will answer our own question, “NO,” the sauce is not that good. Only Thai red curry sauce is that good and everyone knows it. Additionally, we wouldn’t put it past Chick-fil-A to simply screw their own customers, limit the sauce to cut costs, and blame it on Biden’s America anyway. Trump would do it.

Jesus, these people.

Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."


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