Politics - News Analysis

Trump Thought Pandemic Had a Silver Lining: He Wouldn’t Have to Shake Hands with His ‘Disgusting’ Supporters

Someday someone is going to have to explain this to God, who might fall off his thrown in laughter, only then to take a deeper breath and wonder if creating humanity was all that good an idea.

One would think that if there was ever any particular topic that might engage Trump to intervene on behalf of the country and follow what scientists suggest, it would be a raging epidemic. Trump is notorious for two things. First, he is a germaphobe, and not a mild case, he has waiters prepare his Diet Coke in a military-like maneuver, a no-fail mission. And second, Trump also lives in fear of his own death, like far more than most of us. If you put the two together, one would think that Trump would be in the situation room 20 hours a day, listening to reports from China and asking our experts how to keep this thing from coming over, or limiting it while here.

That would be the conventional wisdom except for one small thing, it doesn’t factor in Trump’s stupidity. It never occurred to Trump that extreme measures right up front could actually stop the virus in its tracks. He only thought about the “after the fact” ramifications and, being stupid, put it in the stupidest and most selfish light.

He thought that COVID’s silver-lining would be that he, personally, Donald Trump, wouldn’t have to shake the hands of those disgusting people that vote for him and worship his every move.

Shaking hands is “disgusting”? Interesting. Most people don’t think of it that way or it wouldn’t be the traditional greeting in many societies. In Saudi Arabia, it is common for men to walk holding the hand of a friend. But to Trump, all this centered around him and his fear of… germs. Bastard.

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Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.


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