Politics - News Analysis

Twitter Passes Out: There is Now a Trump Energy Drink, and Even a Sugar Free Version!

Okay, it’s no longer fun anymore.

It appears that MAGA (However defined) is determined to become the first Costco of political brands. Perhaps there won’t be a MAGA dogfood (Costco brand dog food is actually high quality, as opposed to… ) because Trump doesn’t like dogs, which means the MAGAs have all given their dogs away to shelters and kids that don’t yet know, or care, whether MAGAs like dogs.

But there will definitely be Trump brand fried chicken (It’s known as KFC right now), there will be Trump brand diet Coke, a Trump bank… be very careful and check that interest rate, it may be high, with a small negative sign, there will be Trump clinics, which feature UV and bleach therapy, no good medicines except perhaps Natural Light, and perhaps some strong psychedelics. Trump will become the 2021 Sears catalogue from 1895 or Amazon without the delivery (because they’re only interested in the order.)

We already reported that there is a cryptocurrency called MAGAcoin and, no, we’re not kidding, and yes, they’ve already had a data breach. So there is no end in sight. There is a Trump energy drink in both regular high octane and sugar free. We are sure that it is simply Mountain Dew rebottled and repacked, a MAGA  staple.

That is a beautiful picture of their hero on the can. Are we sure this is put out by actual MAGAs? Or could it be liberals who simply want to cash in, and the painting in the wink to the rest of us. It is impossible to tell. And, really, who wants to know?

The net, for one:

Was the crisis in Afghanistan surrounding the pull out of American Troops Biden's fault or Trump's fault?

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They mean Mountain Dew?

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.