Politics - News Analysis

[UPDATED – CORRECTION] Televangelist Jim Bakker Complains that God Cannot Hear Prayers Through Masks

TO OUR VALUED READERS: WE HAVE LEARNED THAT THE ARTICLE BELOW WAS ORIGINALLY BASED UPON A SATIRE PIECE THAT TWITTER TOOK ON AS REAL.

WE FAILED TO CONFIRM BEYOND TWITTER THAT THE PIECE WAS A GENUINE AND SERIOUS STATEMENT BY JIM BAKKER. AS AUTHOR, JASON MICIAK, THE FAULT IS MINE, SOLELY. MY NAME IS ON THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ARTICLE I WRITE AND I BEAR RESPONSIBILITY WITHOUT REGARD TO THE PROLIFERATION ON TWITTER.

THIS SITE IS EVALUATED BY NEWSGUARD AND WE DO NOT FAIL TESTS. WE REPORT FACT AND THEN OPINE AND ANALYZE AT ANOTHER LEVEL. WE TAKE THIS PARTICULAR FAILURE SERIOUSLY AND WILL CONTINUE TO ADDRESS IT.

WE ARE NOT PULLING THE PIECE BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT IT TO APPEAR AS THOUGH WE’RE DODGING RESPONSIBILITY.

The name “Jim Bakker” conjures up all kinds of things for people Gen-X and older. A lot of it is very ugly, and no, we’re not referring to Tammy Faye’s makeup, that would be mean. And no, we’re not referring to his mental health which resulted in a lot of hospitalizations because there is almost nothing lower. No, the “ugly” stuff we’re talking about is what happened after the lid got blown off many evangelical preachers, a lid that had largely kept the money, the affairs, all of it, locked up. Yes, kids, there once was a time when one had to presume they were in it just for the money and women.

Bakker and a few others (Swaggert) gave us proof.

Somehow, and – we admit, we’ll never understand it, Jim Bakker managed to rehabilitate himself enough that he is once again making good money (maybe not Franklin Graham money, but good money) on television as a MAGA. Oh, he’s also an evangelist, but these people are now primarily MAGAs first, “preachers” second, and what they preach has nothing to do with Jesus. In fact, as we’ve read more and more about Jesus’s actual ministry, we’re increasingly convinced that if Jesus were to come back, the first thing that would happen is that he’d immediately shut down their websites and perform a miracle, create 500 forensic accountants with experience in widespread fraud, and 100 prosecutors to back them up.

Loaves of bread, fish, water into wine, it was fine back then. Miracles take a bit of an extra effort nowadays.

We mentioned MAGA ministry? Is there any other explanation as to why Bakker would say that God is unable to hear prayers said from behind a mask? (We presume that Bakker considers mutes damned to… we presume that Bakker is an asshole, actually).

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Is he asking? Because yes, we absolutely do. We hope so. Because most of us who pray, do it in our heads, and quite sincerely, rather than in front of hundreds with our arms out, trying to out-enthusiasm and rapture the others.

As you might imagine, Twitter had some fun with the ole’ boy.

Jesus seems like a good place to start, he said something about praying at night, alone, when particularly terrified. Ah, we have it right here:

And:

The above shows the level of grift. But one cannot be a grifter nowadays without first being a MAGA and thus he’s MAGA first and last. And we can definitely hear Bakker through a cloth. Too bad for Jim, we suspect God can hear what he’s really thinking, too.

We go out with another entity that can hear through masks. Bakker cannot even fool dogs anymore (no one ever could.)

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

 

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.