Politics - News Analysis

Capitol Rioter is Sad Because His Family Has Turned Their Backs on Him…So He Needs Your Money NOW!

The saga of Brandon Straka continues.

We have had the good fortune of watching karma kick a little ass lately and, though – normally, we don’t revel in people’s sorrow, stuff that is just so well earned is, well, well earned.

We’ve written about Brandon all too many… no, we have not written about him enough. We should post something from him daily. The MAGAs should appreciate it, too. Brandon’s story is a telling tale as to what happens when you’re an unstable MAGA.

There is nothing to analyze. Here is his ad, begging for money:

I am absolutely a tough old bird, but even the toughest birds have their days when after getting the hell beaten out of them too much and for too long the armor starts to dent a little bit.

Maybe he should pick some better fights?

There are so many things I long to tell you all about, including the ways in which members of my own family have turned their backs on me this year.

No need. They turned their backs on an asshole. The End.

To be clear, my parents have been rock solid by my side through this whole thing- I can’t say the same for just about every other person in my family.

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You are their spawn. If you’re an asshole, that makes them assholes. They won’t give in to the admission just yet.

The growing political divide in this country has destroyed friendships and families. It’s tragic and heartbreaking.

So your broken heart guided you to break into the Capitol? Have you tried the insanity defense?

I never lose hope and optimism that we will continue to wake people up, share the light, and heal many of these broken relationships. However, what has happened to me this year is a different story.

You are going to share the light? It sounds like you’re begging for light in the darkness.

This wasn’t just about political disagreement, this was about family turning on family during an absolute crisis.

Yes, it’s a political crisis, brought on by you, and the family isn’t in crisis, you are.

I will be coming out of this crisis soon, but will not be moving forward in my life with the majority of my biological family relationship.

Not that soon. Be thankful you have any biological family relationships at all. The rest of your non-biological family is as bad as you.

And of course: PATRIOTS, SHOW ME THE MONEY!

h/t Joe My God, who always find the greatest reports on these insufferable Capitol rioters.

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.

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