This is almost too good to be true and yet, in Trump world, the crazier the story, the more likely it is to be true. This is crazy.

Many of us recall that Trump’s first foreign trip wasn’t to Canada (as per presidential tradition), nor the U.K., Japan, or any other self-respecting country, it was to Saudi Arabia, led by a man whose conscience is surpassed by a hungry tiger.

The Saudi royal family – despite being some of the world’s most horrible people – are not stupid, and they knew that the way to Trump’s heart wasn’t through fantastic new foreign policy deals with the United States, but with gifts, personal gifts, lots of cool personal gifts. (Which, in and of itself is odd because there is a law that limits the value of any gift given to a president, over a small set amount, the gift is presumed to be a gift to the nation, not the president personally).

Among the gifts were robes made of “tiger” and “cheetah” fur. According to Business Insider, relaying a NYT investigative report:

The Times uncovered the robes, which were among over 80 gifts the Saudis lavished on Trump during his first visit to the country in 2017, as part of an investigation into the Trump administration’s practices of accepting and disclosing gifts from foreign leaders and nations.

“Disclosure?” Trump doesn’t know what disclosure means. Trump thinks “disclosure” is something that happens when he’s about to get lucky with an extremely unlucky woman. He would never disclose himself or anything to the government.

According to the report, White House lawyers also worried that accepting the gifts might violate the law on the importation of any portion of an endangered species (like elephant tusks).

Meanwhile, Trump kept his clothes on. He didn’t disclose anything and held on to them for four years. Trump did – on the very last day of his term – turn them over to the GSA, but at that point, the cat was out of the bag. (We are so sorry, but couldn’t resist).

But fear not, no laws were broken, no animals disrobed:

Once the robes made their way to the proper agency for inspection, they were determined to be imitations, The Times reported, adding that it was unclear whether the Saudis were aware the fur was dyed.

“Wildlife inspectors and special agents determined the linings of the robes were dyed to mimic tiger and cheetah patterns and were not comprised of protected species,” an Interior Department spokesman, Tyler Cherry, told The Times.

See? Literally, everything about Trump is fake. And those wily Saudi Arabians knew Trump was into cheap, tacky, stuff.

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak