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Trump Was Just Awarded an ‘Honorary 9th Degree Black Belt’ in Taekwondo and People Have Questions

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We have seen Trump painted as Rambo, more than once, actually.

We have seen Trump painted as Rocky, more than once, actually.

We have never seen Trump painted, pictured, or portrayed as Bruce Lee. Of course, that would have made Trump a Chinese American and we’re not sure how far they’re willing to go with that.

But they don’t need to portray Trump as Bruce Lee if Trump has his own 9th-degree black belt in Taekwondo. The thing is, unlike some “honorary” things, the whole point of earning belts in these martial arts is to…

Well, and that is what brings us to the irony in all this.

Whether it is Rambo, Rocky, or Bruce Lee, we cannot imagine anyone less likely to actually “fight” like a “man” (so to speak, just go with it for now, right?). Trump is actually infamous for running from the site of “bl00d” (remember, the man who hit his head on the marble floor at Mar-a-Lago?), the guy who called troops “suckers and losers,” had a bone spur when time to become a real warrior, and the guy who is into “fake” wrestling far more so than anything “real” with respect to vi0lence in this world.

This leaves us laughing our collective asses off about this:

Yes, “What?” is exactly what we said. But the net had some better retorts.

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Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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