Ardent MAGA trucker Bob Bolus, was absolutely, positively certain that his makeshift “freedom convoy” heading from Scranton, Pennsylvania to Washington, D.C. this week was going to “choke” the nation’s capital in much the same way that a boa constrictor does. But if anything, the anti-vaccine-protest that was supposed to materialize didn’t really do that, so it looked more like D.C. was being choked by a wet noodle instead.

That, according to The Daily Beast forced Bolus to walk back his talk when the much-ballyhooed convoy on Wednesday turned out to be nothing more than a procession of one, count ’em, one truck. So he told Daily Beast that he’d changed his plan and that he wouldn’t attempt to interrupt traffic.

“We’re not putting a chokehold on D.C. today,” Bolus, a Pennsylvania relative who’s done time for insurance fraud, told the site in a phone interview just after noon on Wednesday. But he also said he hopes to disrupt Beltway traffic someday (I guess it’s good to have goals.) “Not to say that it wouldn’t happen in the very near future. It’s just going to be an idea of what’s to come.”

Bolus’ convoy was originally slated to arrive in D.C.’s metro area around noon. Taking a note from the Canadian anti-vaccine demonstration which caused a lot of trouble in Ottawa until it was finally dispersed by police, the ex-con trucker hoped gridlock would rule the day. In anticipation that this may happen, the Pentagon approved the use of nearly 700 National Guard personnel.

Since the crowd of angry MAGA truckers didn’t happen, Bolus told Daily Beast that his greatly downsized convoy will “peacefully” sit in Beltway traffic and won’t attempt to cause a traffic jam.

“We’re going to go with the flow,” he said. “Today we’re going to go with the flow of traffic. If they go at two miles an hour, we will be at two miles an hour.”

Bob Bolus is on the highway headed down to DC.

We have driven up and down the line, His 18 wheeler is the only one in the convoy followed by four or five pick up trucks and SUVs (that we can tell). All other 18ws passing him

His claim of having 25 trucks driving down is false pic.twitter.com/xvEeqxobnm

— Julio-César Chávez (@JulioCesrChavez) February 23, 2022

By midday Wednesday, there were only eight vehicles in the convoy, according to Reuters producer Julio César Chávez, who has been traveling with the convoy. Aside from Bolus’s 18-wheeler, there was a gaggle of pickup trucks and SUVs. And that was it. All of the other big rigs on the road busily drove past the convoy. But that’s not the only fun Bolus had this day. At the start of this misbegotten trip, he discovered he had two flat tires, delaying things further, according to ABC7 News.

Of course earlier this week, Bolus garnered lots of media attention regarding his convoy after he told Fox5 D.C. that he planned to “shut down” the Capital Beltway, comparing his alleged group of truckers to a boa constrictor, which “squeezes you, chokes you, and it swallows you — and that’s what we’re going to do to D.C.”

That’s now unintentionally hilarious because the only one who got “squeezed” is him. But Trump supporters are frequently unintentionally hilarious so we can just add that one to the pile.

Here’s Bob back when he had hope: