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Melania Now Insists She’s ‘Profoundly Serious’ About Christmas as She Releases Her Grifty New NFTs and Ornaments

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Is there anything more banal than a Melania Trump press statement, especially when Melania has no idea what she’s trying to say? Well, that’s not entirely true. She knows the underlying idea with her Christmas ornaments and NFTs. She wants the damned money! But with respect to the “inspiration” for the beautifully expensive Christmas ornaments (“I want the money!”), she says they are “inspired by the American experience and spirit…” And? Is there something real inside there? Did they not celebrate beautiful Christmas in Slovenia?

But, according to NFT Econtimes:

Melania Trump is offering new non-fungible tokens (NFT) again, and the former first lady of the United States is sending part of the proceeds to the foster care community to fund the children’s education via scholarships.

She doesn’t name “the part” of the proceeds… she’ll work that out later.

As per Fox News, Trump is set to roll out limited-edition Christmas ornaments that were handcrafted. These will be sold along with the decors’ NFT version, and the items are on sale under the “American Christmas” ornaments title.

The former POTUS said that she is releasing the new NFTs and decors to celebrate the upcoming season that is “filled with hope.” Trump further explained that the ornaments’ designs are “inspired by the American experience and spirit.”

And WTF is out there to give Melania any hope? She is watching her divorce settlement and-or her son’s inheritance dry up into desert sand. In fact, “inspired by desert sand” might be a more accurate description than hope inspired by the American experience and spirit.

Well, looking at these works (and the NFT!), they don’t seem all that inspired. Show her the money!

Oh, gosh! It is a gold star! Whoever would have thought to put one of those on a tree? Other than every single American Christian family which owns a very similar version. Jesus, these people.

These ornaments follow Melania’s desire to “set the record straight” on her attitude toward Christmas, two years after she was heard in an explosive audio leak asking her former senior adviser “who gives a fuck about the Christmas stuff and decorations?”

“While I was serving as first lady of our country, Stephanie Wolkoff secretly recorded several of our conversations. Wolkoff then spitefully edited and released our conversation to create the perception that Christmas is not significant to me,” Trump said in a statement, insisting that the portion of the conversation edited out focused on her desire to reunite migrant children split from their families at the border, months after her husband instated the “Zero Tolerance” policy, which separated thousands of families. “Christmas is an important time for me, my family, and the American people, and my devotion to the holiday is personal and profoundly serious.”

PROFOUNDLY SERIOUS.

One thing we cannot take proudly serious is Melania, and these Dollar General-ish ornament. Actually, that’s an insult to Dollar General.

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with Nicole Hickman

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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