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Randy Quaid’s Response to the Balloon Is Crazy AF and Twitter is Having a Field Day

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If you have never seen the movie “Kingpin” with Randy Quaid and Woody Harrelson. you probably should. No, it’s not a movie at a level reserved for Pulp Fiction, Fargo, and any scene from the Star Wars saga with Rey. (You cannot take your eyes off her) But it is worth your time. I’m not sure I could watch it anymore now that I know too much about Randy. It is not just that he is a MAGA. It is that he’s Super-Sized MAGA with crazy sauce.

Randy gave us some red meat this morning on the Chinese balloon, and it was quintessential Quaid. It is nearly impossible to understand what he’s really saying, and yet it’s also perfectly clear that whatever he’s trying to get across, it would confuse a duck.

Maybe it’s just me, but what the hell does this even mean?

Right.

So, “probed.” If that word is used as applied to a person (or people), it is probably not something you want any part of.

Dragon’s eyeball. Well, maybe that’s a “thing,” but a Google search this morning renders nothing about the balloon, so it appears to be limited to Quaid. And as Ron says, it follows eyeball. It’s getting weirder.

It’s not that bad? True. It isn’t. We have satellites that can take pictures of dimes in parking lots… and so do the Chinese. So the balloon isn’t up there to gather intelligence. It’s far more likely up there just to see what we’ll do. Doing nothing gives the Chinese nothing. It’s not that bad. Laugh, don’t shoot.

Eating kids? Super-Sized MAGA Q-anon reference. Big Dems are into rituals, all that.

We are not calling Randy Quaid. More importantly, why does Randy want people calling him for answers? Randy only gets in trouble when interacting with real people. That is a truly bizarre line. He doesn’t “fix” anything.

No more questions? We didn’t have one in the first place! Not for Randy. Maybe for Rey.

Damn it. Kingpin is ruined. But that tweet is crazy AF, even for Randy, and that is saying something. Instead of Kingpin, we’ll transition to finish with The Big Lebowski, “the dude abides.” Randy is not the dude. But, just abide. Trust that specialists have this handled, and let it flow, man.

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, SUBSTACK: #BIDEN BOOM LIGHTS TWITTER ON FIRE AND IT’S ABOUT TIME. 

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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