Politics - News Analysis

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Tells Conservatives in Blue States to MOVE to Arkansas for the Schools — Which Are 47th in the Nation

This site’s least favorite governor (ten-way tie), Sarah Huck, is on a mission, according to Fox News.

Sarah Huckabee-Sanders is so concerned about America’s youth that her concerns have gone national.

Sarah is oh so terribly afraid that impressionable babes at just 16 years old (!) may learn that there are gay people in the world and – get this, they might even hear that it’s okay to be gay! (Sarah, kids today aren’t like you. They know who was gay back when there were 13, and guess what? Most don’t give a fck! Even in Arkansas. They learn to accept each other on the net.)

This, however, is an utter outrage to Huck-a-Gov.

What is a good conservative non-groomer cis-gendered white Christian nationalist to do? Sarah has the answer! Move to her state! In her state, that child will not be bothered by anything LGBTQ, and they won’t be “forced” to learn black history or anything that might scare wealthy, white, Christian, hetero, wealthy, blonde, wealthy people – you know, the most persecuted people in America.

They can flee to safety! Get their butts to Walstate; I mean Arkansas. Sarah will ensure that no teacher dares to teach your child anything except that 1 + 1= 2, but only in binary couples that have a baby together by having naughty time at night. Children will most certainly not learn that 2+2 = 4 when the Buttigieg family, Pete and Chasten, adopt adorable twins.

From Fox News, we bring you the breathless arrogance:

Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, R., says she’s on a mission to protect children from “the radical left woke mob” that parents in Democrat-run states are forced to worry about, signing bills on everything from education reform and transgender bathroom issues to making sure e parents know what social media platforms their kids are using.

“I think the best thing that conservatives can do, that are living in blue states, is move to Arkansas. It’s really simple. That’s the best pathway forward, then you don’t have to worry about those things because we’re going to make sure that the kids are protected and that they’re in good learning environments,” Sanders said.

In March, Sanders signed into law a prohibition on transgender people at Arkansas public schools from using the restroom corresponding with their gender identity. “The idea that we are going to allow the radical left woke mob to redefine what a woman is, in particular, or what a man is, is absolutely insane and unbelievable.

It sounds like Sarah really does want to set up the culture wars to become a cleaner civil war where states really can fight states. Move to a state where everyone thinks like you! It’s great, you learn and experience so much more.

Good lord.


[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with Nicole Hickman

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."


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