Colorado’s Lauren Boebert, who has never been accused of thinking things through, has been accused of some stuff that’s pretty bad. Now settle in.

David B. Wheeler, the head of the political action committee American Muckrakers, alleged that Boebert was once “a paid escort, had twice aborted pregnancies and had used illegal drugs including methamphetamine.” When Boebert went on television to refute the claims, Wheeler filed a defamation suit, basically for calling him a liar.

Boebert was eventually forced to declare in a sworn statement that she had “never been a drug addict or a stripper.” The sworn statement was part of her effort to have Wheeler’s original lawsuit thrown out of court “with prejudice.”

Now Wheeler says she lied in THAT statement too, and if a judge will have it, Boebert will be forced to undergo a deposition in federal court. If she lies there, it will be felony perjury.

Wheeler pounced on her statement:

“In the attached affidavit, signed under penalty of perjury, Boebert does not deny being a paid escort, having abortions other than in 2004 & 2009, dancing nude, or illegal drug use as we alleged in our past (website) posts. She obfuscates these points by providing parsed denials with words we never used.”

He went on to explain that in her statement, she used the word “prostitute” in characterizing what Wheeler had said about her. In fact, what he had called her was an “unregistered paid escort,” which is legal in some parts of Colorado. Prostitution, strictly defined, is not legal anywhere in the state. Boebert basically claimed that he said she broke the law when he never actually used the words that she did in her statement.

In fact, Wheeler says that she did just the same throughout her statement, being evasive and using her own words in place of Wheeler’s to make it sound like he had accused her of things he never said.

“We always used our source’s words, that she ‘danced nude’ at a club in Grand Junction. Why does Boebert use the word ‘stripper?’ Again, she’s using words we never said to defend herself against an allegation we never made in order to try to pull a fast one on the judge.

We never called her a drug addict and we’re careful not to use that term. However, she doesn’t deny ‘illegal drug use’ as we alleged in our original press release.”

I for one would love to be a fly on the wall during that deposition, if only to watch her squirm in her seat.