Most of us already know that Fox News hosts make oddball claims quite often, but Jeanine Pirro has come up with a real beaut this time. She’s claiming that Hunter Biden’s new haircut could be a strategy for beating drug tests.

Pirro contended that human hair could “maintain” drug residues for “a significant amount of time” and that Biden’s new buzz cut would mean he doesn’t have enough hair to be produced for testing.

Biden was indicted in mid-September on three counts of gun-related charges. He’s facing allegations of lying about his use of drugs on a firearm application in order to purchase a Colt Cobra .38mm handgun in October 2018, The Independent reports.

Generally when a person is accused of lying on a federal firearms application they negotiate deals rather than do prison time, and attorneys for Hunter Biden say the charges have resulted from “political pressure from President Trump and his MAGA allies.”

Pirro, relegated to The Five after some of her election misinformation caught up with her, said Hunter Biden was “very savvy about drug testing.”

But see, here’s the thing: Just because Pirro’s a former judge doesn’t mean she’s especially bright. But let’s see what she has to say anyway:

“We’ve known Hunter for a long time and we’ve never seen him with a buzz cut. So I happen to think that he’s now represented by an attorney who knows full well that you can pee in a cup. They can test your blood, and a lot of drugs move very quickly through your system,” Pirro said.

“But the part of your body that drugs don’t move quickly through is your hair… I was a narcotics judge for over a year and so I would mandate that certain defendants be tested by their hair.

“The hair maintains the drug for a significant period of time even for years depending upon how long it is, depending upon the toxicity, how concentrated it was, and how much was used.”

“By his having a buzz cut, when they go to pull a hair, they’re not going to have a sufficient amount to even be able to test so that he can be clean in the urine or a blood sample, because there are some things, like marijuana, can go in and out of your system in a matter of a day or two days or three days.”

Pirro then went into snark mode.

“You could also take pubic hair, but we know from the laptop that he happens to take care of himself,” referencing the x-rated images of Hunter Biden that were flaunted in court by Marjorie Taylor Greene.

She didn’t stop there.

“So what we’ve got is a guy who was very savvy about drug testing and doesn’t want there to be any evidence about it… That’s what goes on in real courtrooms.”

Too bad Pirro doesn’t know what goes on in real newsrooms.

Biden pleaded not guilty to the three gun-related charges while he was arraigned in Delaware District Court in Wilmington, and appeared in court on Tuesday morning.

The indictment claims Biden knowingly lied about his previous drug use on a federal form. As most of us already know Biden and his family have publicly acknowledged his substance abuse disorder.

Biden allegedly possessed the illegally obtained firearm for 11 days from October 12 to October 23, 2018. The federal charges arose after Republicans in the House tried (and failed) to tie Hunter Biden’s international business dealings to his father, President Joe Biden, in their effort to impeach the president.

I don’t know if there’s anything deeper to Hunter Biden’s international business dealings. But what I do know is Republicans have no shame in the way they have treated him, stripping him of his dignity in a way that he didn’t deserve.

I said what I said.

Hunter’s new haircut can’t be a coincidence…#TheFive pic.twitter.com/V8xiJNErUr

— Jeanine Pirro (@JudgeJeanine) October 3, 2023