Politics - News Analysis

MAGA Cultists Struggle to Explain Why GOP Crimes Should Be Pardoned, But Joe Biden Should Be Hung

Here's a hint: They can't.

I remember when Fox News really became a “thing.” It wasn’t, as their original mission statement promised, during the Clinton administration, when they promised to bring him down.

They missed their chance on that one. Billy was far too charming, and even after his impeachment, he finished out his time in the Oval Office with upwards of a 60% approval rating.

No, it was only when they could appeal to the baser instincts of their viewers. How could they tear Bill Clinton apart when he had a Southern accent and did a thing that 25% of men statistically do? But put a black man in the White House, and they were ready to hear anything.

Since that time, conservatives have only gotten worse. Study after study shows that people who watch Fox (and its cousins Newsmax and the like) are actually less informed than folks who don’t watch the news at all.

That’s why, in the video we’re about to show you, they struggle so hard to explain things.

Why should Democrats be prosecuted and Republicans get off? Why shouldn’t Donald Trump be subject to the same outrage as Hunter Biden gets for the same things? Why should right-wingers who stormed the Capitol be pardoned while they believe that Joe Biden should be hanged for treason?

They can’t tell you.

They just know they’re mad.

In this video, Persian comic Maz Jobrani breaks down the cognitive dissonance in the mind of a Trump voter. Through a series of brief interviews, the video shows how Trumpers:

  • Think only lefties can do anything wrong
  • Can’t quite put their finger on what, exactly, has been done wrong
  • Believe everything their Clementine Captain tells them

The problem is that these people aren’t just misinformed. They’re not just cultists.

They literally have no idea that the man they’re idolizing, the leader they’ve chosen to lead them into some ethereal coming civil war that will finally let them say the N-word and grab girls’ asses on the street again, doesn’t give one measly rat turd about them.

Donald Trump could care less whether Blake and Chad here are true believers. He just wants them to keep sending money.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.


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