Politics - News Analysis

Trump Humiliated After Golf Writer Calls Him Out as a Pathetic Cheater, ‘His Game Is Phonier Than Velveeta’

As we have written previously, because it’s just too delicious to ignore, Donald Trump triumphantly and shamelessly let the world know that he had “won” his club championship, and not just the senior championship. No, the 77-year-old man beat 28-year-olds who likely played varsity golf in college and are very good. 

According to Trump, he beat these elite golfers like a first wife. Okay, that was mean. But so is beating one’s wife.

Now, though, an expert in the manner that Trump cheats at golf is calling him out. The expert happens to be Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly, who literally wrote the book on how Trump cheats at golf. Why did he write such a book?

Because golf is one of the only sports where you keep your own score. You are trusted to call penalties on yourself for violations of the rules, and you play the ball where it lies, even if it lands in weeds up to your belt. In other words, it’s a game developed for Trump. Cheating is easy.

There is another connection. It was John Updike who famously said that golf is the perfect game for the white, rich, waspy man. It’s more about what you can’t do than what you can – it reminds them of their wives.

Where was I?

Yes, Trump bragged that he won. He posted it on Truth Social.

A great honor to have won both the Club Championship and the Senior Club Championship this week at Trump International! 

Ahead of being awarded for his wins, Trump wrote on Truth Social on March 24: “It is my great honor to be at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach tonight, AWARDS NIGHT, to receive THE CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY & THE SENIOR CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY. I WON BOTH!”

As I’ve written before, Tiger Woods never had to announce that he won The Masters. People swooned for him. Similarly, Einstein never had to say, “I’m not stupid, you know!” Have you heard a smart person ever say such a thing? It is similar to Trump bragging about golf. He has to say it, or people will ignore it.

Now let’s get to Reilly blistering him in a Newsweek article:

“Donald Trump is the worst cheat ever and he doesn’t care who knows. I always say golf is like bicycle shorts. It reveals a lot about a man. And golf reveals a lot of ugliness in this president.”

But he hardly stopped there.

Yes, if Trump golfed at a club that he didn’t own, he couldn’t dictate who wins. Owners of buildings, orthodontic clinics, and Iowa cornfields get to do what they want, claim what they want, and brag about what they want. Who will complain?

Then there was this, “Just fyi, when there’s cameras and rules at tournaments Trump doesn’t own — like Pebble Beach and Tahoe — he’s never finished in the top half. He only wins when he can kick out anybody who disagrees. His game is phonier than Velveeta.”

One more Reilly antidote:

“At Winged Foot, where Trump is a member, the caddies got so used to seeing him kick his ball back onto the fairway they came up with a nickname for him: ‘Pele.'”

Oh, gosh. We run into a problem. Pele was perhaps the greatest soccer (“or futbol”) player to ever live, or at least of his generation. Trump… well, he has to brag, Tiger Woods doesn’t. Trump may be a one-legged man, but he’s no Pele. Or Tiger.


Jason Miciak is an editor at large at Occupy Democrats, currently blessed with time with friends at Political Flare. He can be reached at [email protected] and @JasonMiciak on Musk’s Mess. 

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."


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