Politics - News Analysis

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Has Finally Outdone Herself – Proves She’s by Far the Dumbest Governor in the Country

Give it a rest, mouthpiece.

Some states come a long way. And some states GO a long way — back in time to a darker place.

You may remember that Bill Clinton was once the governor of Arkansas, and under his leadership, the state economy improved, rights for everyone were expanded, and the state ranking for education went up.

Fast-forward a few years, and Mike Huckabee is the governor, and rights vanish, the economy dwindles, and childhood wellbeing plummets.

Now Mike’s daughter Sarah — you remember her as Trump’s longtime press secretary and that lady who got kicked out of a restaurant for sucking so bad — is the governor, and things have gone from bad to worse.

She’s already been embroiled in multiple spending scandals, and even accused of creating legislation to hide her misdeeds.

But this is ridiculous.

Arkansas is ranked dead last in the nation for LGBTQ+ equality, and leads the nation in antigay laws. Education? Don’t get us started. It’s ranked in the bottom 10 for kids, and has been voted over and over as one the worst states to live in.

That’s likely because the Natural State has one of the nation’s worst crime rates, a drug epidemic that’s off the charts, and overcrowded prisons that Sanders wants to put MORE people in. Or maybe it’s the mere 42 dentists for every 100,000 residents. That’s a pretty low number if your meth problem is as bad as Arkansas’.

Guess what Sarah thinks is the biggest problem of all. Well, no need to guess, you saw it in the headline: The recent eclipse.

In fact, Governor Sanders declared a state of emergency for something that lasted about 4 minutes. Tourists poured in to the state to witness the eclipse, which was one of only a few places that would see the totality of it.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her family watching the eclipse…that was so dangerous she called a state of emergency for it.

So what did she do?

She suspended the number of hours that delivery drivers were restricted to for safety reasons. And while the state of emergency only lasts until Wednesday, the softened rules could last up to two weeks.

Yeah, Sarah. The emergency in your state is that someone might not be able to get a bag of Doritos at Walmart if the truck isn’t allowed to drive them there at 3 in the morning, on meth, with a kid who dropped out of school, bad teeth, and a criminal record.

This isn’t the worst thing Sanders has done as governor, just the weirdest.

She’s also banned gender-affirming healthcare for minors, limited the legal number of drag performances, and outright banned teachers from using their students’ preferred pronouns.

Now she just wants to remove safety laws so people can keep buying. That’s pathetic. And people on social media had a field day:

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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