I can almost see how Trump might think that it would outrage his followers if he said he “stormed out” of the courtroom during a “sham trial.” Maybe he could even raise a few bucks by bragging about it.

Of course, no such thing ever happened.

Trump is about to be the first former president to face a criminal trial. He’s not the first candidate to face one — Eugene V. Debs, imprisoned just for being a socialist way back in the day, campaigned from prison; Lyndon LaRouche, the conservative libertarian who’s run a bunch of times, was likewise in prison (for fraud, even!) when he ran against Bill Clinton.

But clearly, Trump is scared. And even though this is speculation, I say this without reservation: The money he’s trying to raise “for his campaign” is going to pay his legal fees.

It took him approximately two seconds to decide to fundraise on his mugshot (guess where that money went). This time, it took until today for me to get a fundraising email about him “storming out of the courtroom” as his latest attempt at stochastic terrorism and grifting.

“I STORMED OUT OF BIDEN’S KANGAROO COURT YESTERDAY! What I’ve been FORCED to endure would make any patriotic American SICK,” read the fundraising email.

But he didn’t. Oh, he has in the past, in situations where he wasn’t required to even be there in the first place.

This latest lie, this latest outrage, is another attempt to capitalize on the outrage from his followers who believe his “political persecution” rhetoric.

He did not storm out, however. Maggie Haberman of the New York Times noted that he actually seemed to be sleeping in court. During live updates of the proceedings, she noted that his “head keeps dropping down and his mouth goes slack.”

In fact, he wasn’t just sleeping. He was lazily farting his way through, and I don’t mean that in the figurative sense. He was literally making his lawyers gag.

If Trump has to lie to make himself sound tough, what is he going to do if someone credible inside his MAGA cult actually sees footage of a trial that he’s lied about bullying his way through?

Because what happened in court the other day was that “Sleepy Don” couldn’t get out of his chair until the proceedings were done for the day.