close

Politics - News Analysis

Melania Trump Is Totally Regretting Allowing Son Barron, the ‘Lanky Dweeb’, to Enter Politics

This won't be pretty, Barron.

By

I remember during the 2016 election, my child and I gave impassioned speeches for our preferred candidate during the caucuses here in Washington state.

It was a proud moment for me as a father, because it meant that I had instilled in my kid the values that I hold most dear, and they had adopted them themselves, finding them better than the alternatives. I wasn’t just proud, I was exhilarated.

But when the public found out that Donald Trump’s youngest son, Barron, so named for the fictional personality Trump himself used to call into radio shows and say nice things about himself “from a stranger,” was to be a Florida delegate for Trump’s presidential campaign, no one held back.

After all, it’s not like anyone in that family actually knows anything about politics.

There’s not a chance in the world that Barron is passionate about border policy. He knows nothing more than possibly his mother, who is more informed about politics than his father, and that’s tragic.

Users on X seemed to pick up on the unwise decision by Barron (if it even WAS his decision) immediately, with one saying “Throwing his hat in the ring will be a regretful experience.”

That seems like the understatement of the year.

His father is likely headed to jail, even if it’s BEFORE a conviction of a crime, just for contempt.

Others were less than kind: “I will roast that lanky dweeb like a marshmallow on a camp fire.” And while I don’t really go in for insults about a teenager, as insults go, that one’s less vague than most.

Lanky? Check. Dweeb? Check.

Of course, there were those on social media who have bought into the Cult of Trump and saw his son as the Second Coming of their lord and savior, even if the 77-year old weirdo hasn’t passed yet.

“I hope I’m still around to see Barron Trump 2048,” said one.

It’s nearly impossible to imagine the Trumps becoming a Kennedy-style dynasty, or passing the torch like Bushes, because those people knew what they were doing (even if W was a little slow on the uptake).

Instead, Trump is forcing the torch into his son’s hand, when he didn’t even know he was running the relay.

UPDATE: As expected, Melania Trump basically said NO FUCKING WAY and Barron will NOT be serving as a delegate at this summer’s Republican National Convention. Melania’s office said, “While Barron is honored to have been chosen as a delegate by the Florida Republican Party, he regretfully declines due to prior commitments.”

Social media is going crazy over it:

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

Comments

Comments are currently closed.