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Kimberly Guilfoyle Caught on Camera at the RNC Doing Something Unmentionable – Right on the Big Screen For Everyone to See

Settle down, Ms. Guilfoyle. People are going to get the wrong idea.

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There’s a time and a place for attending to your “unmentionables” if you’re in discomfort. That time is not in public, with a camera pointed directly at the area of your attention.

But somebody needs to tell Kimberly Guilfoyle that, because she just went on an itching spree like I’ve never seen someone do while being shown on a giant screen behind the head of a former president.

We’re talking, this looks like something she might see a doctor about.

Posted with simply the caption “What’s going on behind Trump,” a video shows Junior’s (fianceé? girlfriend?) girlfriend Kim hiking up her very tight red dress and getting down to business.

Now, it could be that she was simply adjusting some body-shaping undergarments. It could be that a feminine product found its way into a problematic position. It could very well be the same thing that makes me tug at my undies (discreetly) on a hot day.

Or maybe she has crabs.

See, this is the problem when you get a story like this from your publisher and you’re a guy. Full disclosure, folks: I think this is hilarious. I mean, I feel for her, whatever her situation is, but I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t my first thought.

Joke after joke went tumbling through my mind, but I’ll leave the jokes to the people in the replies on the tweet I’m about to show you.

Here’s what I will say. The reason my mind went directly to jokes and the worst possible option (an STD) isn’t only because I have the mind of a twelve-year-old boy. It’s because day in and day out, when I write about the Trump family and extended family, the recurring themes are there.

Does this pass the Trump test?

Well, we’ve got p*ssy-grabbing. We’ve got absolutely oblivious behavior. We’ve got the fact that it’s really not all that unlikely that Kim might have something Junior transmitted. We know he’s a creep — we just saw him call his own minor teen daughter “sexy” on video yesterday.

If he’s going to lust after his own daughter (like his dad famously has in public a number of times), it stands to reason he may have adopted some other philandering behavior that his dad modeled for him as well.

Again, this could all be just a lark that we happened to see (on a Jumbotron) that got re-broadcast on Fox News and who knows how many other stations. But it’s definitely something she could have excused herself to the restroom to do.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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