Is Melania Trump the griftiest First Lady to grace the White House? I have to wonder because she’s pulled in some huge hauls during her time in the White House as well as afterward. She is almost as absent from the public eye as the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, and the Yeti. Okay, well maybe not that absent.

Now, however, she’s popped out a coffee table-sized memoir. But if you think this is her effort to help us get to know the real Melania, well, guess again. She pulled sizable vanishing acts during her time in the White House and even now it’s almost impossible to track her down. She’s notably avoided almost all of Donald Trump’s campaign and court appearances, which, according to New York Magazine, has sparked the “Where’s Melania” meme.

While she did make a dramatic entrance during the Republican National Convention, which she made separate from the rest of her family, she declined to give a speech supporting her husband’s candidacy. Even though there were reports that she was repeatedly asked to speak.

So what exactly is the purpose of this memoir?

Well, according to New York Magazine’s Margaret Hartmann:

“There are two likely explanations: (1) Melania likes money, and (2) her forthcoming book isn’t a typical political memoir.”

It’s true that we all like money, but Melania really, REALLY likes money. In a report published by Newsweek just over a year ago, former President Donald Trump was hit with grifting claims after the little wifey received $155,000 in 2021 from a super PAC affiliated with her husband. Donald Trump may have been tarred with these feathers but Melania is the one who benefitted here.

Then there’s that crappy gold vermeil necklace she tried to sell for Mother’s Day. She’s also delved deeply into the Bitcoin thing. With mixed results. Remember that silly hat she tried to hawk? It was a massive dud.

Ever since her husband announced his reelection bid nearly two years ago, the former first lady has been largely absent, pretty much almost saying nothing about hubby’s reelection efforts. She briefly endorsed him during an off-camera interview with Fox News but otherwise hasn’t done much except to host fundraisers for a group of LGBTQ+ Republicans. But she kept churning out pricey merch, from NFTs to Christmas ornaments to that awful Mother’s Day necklace.

The former First Lady’s office announced Thursday, that the Memoir, Melania, would be released this fall. It’s not clear if it will be released in time for Election Day.

May your experience reading my book be as enjoyable as the writing process was for me. https://t.co/oyRdt2Ncfn pic.twitter.com/OuwcFGxS9o

— MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) July 25, 2024

Given Melania’s evasiveness, it will be interesting to see if this is a “tell-all-book.” Several outlets claim this is the case, and the press release claims the book will be an “intimate portrait” chock-full of “personal stories:”

“Melania is a powerful and inspiring story of a woman who has carved her own path, overcome adversity and defined personal excellence. The former First Lady invites readers into her world, offering an intimate portrait of a woman who has lived an extraordinary life.”

“Melania includes personal stories and family photos she has never before shared with the public.”

I’ll believe that when I see it. And like every other grift associated with Melania, the book is pricey.

Per the press release, there will be two versions of the book. The $150 Collector’s Edition and the Memoir Edition Here’s what the press release says about the $150 “Collector’s Edition”:

“The Collector’s Edition is a hardcover book measuring 10”x13” featuring 256 pages in full color throughout, with each copy signed by the author. This edition is printed on premium art paper with a special custom white binding and adorned with black foil, blocking, and a ribbon marker. Purchasers will also have the option of receiving a digital collectible, which will be minted on the Solana blockchain.”

The Memoir Edition” retails for $40 or $75 for a signed copy, per the press release:

“The Memoir Edition is a 304 page jacketed hardcover book measuring 6”x9” including 48 pages of never before seen photographs.”

Basically it’s a coffee table book. Melania thinks she’s so important and fascinating that people will want to showcase her boring-ass book on their coffee tables. I can tell you now, the RNC will buy a ton of the these books to make it a “bestseller” and then will give them away. Mark my word.

Whether there’s anything substantive in the book or it’s really little more than fluff remains to be seen. One thing is crystal clear: Melania can grift with the best of them.