Politics - News Analysis

Rumors of Affair Between Trump and Loomer Grow Louder, With Loomer Reportedly Telling Friends She Performed Sex Act on Former Prez

Is this real or a PR stunt? Because they're not even hiding it now.

Let’s take another look at the ongoing saga of Trump and far-right activist Laura Loomer, because it’s not going away. If anything, it’s just getting started.

Look, Melania is old enough to be her mother, and Trump is old enough to be Melania’s father. There is absolutely no reason for Laura Loomer to have the kind of close physical relationship with Donald Trump that she has, unless she either already is, or is angling to, get the former president in the sack.

The rumors are bad enough that Marjorie Taylor Greene, normally a staunch supporter of the MAGA movement and Trump himself, has spoken out against her. Of course, many believe that’s because Madge wants to bed the portly amateur politician herself.

After the remarks that Loomer made all the way back on the 8th — well in advance of Trump being asked about them — Greene lashed out at her rival for Trump’s affection. Greene called Loomer “appalling and extremely racist,” after Loomer tweeted that if Kamala won, the White House would smell like curry and “speeches will be facilitated by a call center.”

There’s essentially a zero percent chance that Trump, who has been open about the fact that Loomer is important to the campaign, didn’t know about her remarks. He’s reposted things she’s said from her X account, including racist things like that, and the videos of her hanging out with neo-Nazis are old hat at this point.

So why, during his unhinged press conference in California, did Trump spend so much time denying he’d heard anything negative about her?

“[What do you say to] your Republican colleagues or allies who are concerned about your close relationship with Laura Loomer,” a reporter asked at the event in Rancho Palos Verdes.

An uncharacteristically demure Trump responded, “Well, I don’t know, uh, what they would say… Laura’s been… a supporter of mine.”

Those ellipses aren’t me indicating that I’ve left any words out — that’s how he answered it. Slowly. Carefully. Trump hedged so much on the subject of Loomer that it almost seemed like he was trying to look guilty about something.

“I’m not sure why you ask that question, but Laura’s a supporter.”

And this part is purely speculative, but I say this as a male. When asked about the specific things she’s said, even recently since she’s begun flying around on his plane with him, he defended her statements in a very suspicious way.

“Laura has to say what she wants. She is a free spirit.”

No manly-man guy like Trump uses that term for any woman he’s not having a little Netflix-and-chill with in the back of Trump Force One. Speaking only as a dude myself, I would estimate that the chances these two aren’t getting horizontal are about as good as RFK Jr. re-announcing his candidacy and winning as he runs on a platform of whale decapitation and bear cub dumping.

Now, maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe it’s too much to think that Trump would cheat on his wife (and son, if you count that Barron is still VERY much affected by everything his father does, at such a young age). After all, that would just be cruel.

It’s not like he’s cheated on all of his wives, or at golf, or in business, or on charities, or on his taxes. No, wait. I think I have something backwards there.

No, it’s not just that things seem to be a little bit weird. It’s that this is getting picked up by news outlets at this point. And Trump does seem a little nervous about the relationship, since he posted on Truth Social that he didn’t agree with much of what Loomer says. So in a way he is backing away from her, but of course he’s posting her articles today so I doubt he really cares. All he cares about is that Loomer hangs on his every word and is a loyal supporter.

Trump took to Truth Social and said, “Laura Loomer doesn’t work for the Campaign. She’s a private citizen and longtime supporter. I disagree with the statements she made but, like the many millions of people who support me, she is tired of watching the Radical Left Marxists and Fascists violently attack and smear me, even to the point of doing anything to stop their Political Opponent, ME! I am now in California, which Democrats like Comrade Kamala Harris and Governor Gavin Newscum have completely DESTROYED. I will turn it all around and, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! -DJT”

When it’s signed -DJT that supposedly means Trump wrote the post himself. Who knows.

Even other far-right activists who are in the same circles as Loomer are talking about the Trump/Loomer relationship as though it’s common knowledge. Here’s Milo Yiannopoulos with the first content warning-worthy entry in this article:

Milo then added something that we’ve heard from other sources:

That’s not some random tweeter. That’s a guy who’s been on Real Time with Bill Maher and spoken at colleges and been at countless events with Laura Loomer. This is not a roadie claiming the lead singer is filling the tour bus with love stank, it’s the freaking drummer. Milo is just as repugnant as Loomer, but they were once very close friends, and still run in the same disgusting, white supremacist circles.

Milo Yiannopoulos joins Laura Loomer in celebrating her win in GOP primary in South Florida in 2020. Obviously she lost, thank goodness.

Okay, enough of the YEEESH. Back to the press conference, where Trump tried and failed to sound like an innocent man. Another reporter eventually brought up Loomer again, this time asking about the propriety of her traveling on his plane — which has so few seats that people he actually pays to accompany him have had to fly commercial so she could be with him — and he played just as dumb as you possibly can.

“A lot of people do. It’s a very big plane.”

Man, he must be tired.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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