Funny

If You Think Trump’s a Bad Dancer at His Rallies, Wait Until You See Kimberly Guilfoyle Get Her Groove On

A little humor to lighten the mood.

Just as you’ve stopped laughing about the fact that the “manliest” presidential candidate of all time has chosen what basically amounts to the Gay National Anthem as his campaign’s theme song, we get hit with this.

A clip has gone viral of Kimberly Guilfoyle, the fiancée of Donald Trump, Jr., boogying down to the homoerotic disco tune at one of her future father-in-law’s rallies. And not just her, but a pretty representative cross-section of Trump voters. Let’s see, white old people, white slightly-less-old people, white people uninterested and on their cell phones, enthusiastic and very slightly-less-old-than-the-second-oldest white people… Did I mention that this is a very white crowd?

Seriously, folks. The members of the actual Village People have more brown people among them than this entire crowd, and there were only SIX of them.

So what’s so wrong with the video? Well, according to social media, it’s “the dorkiest sh*t I’ve seen since elementary school.” I have to say, when I watched the video, I was inclined to agree. In fact, Kim herself might be the BEST dancer in that, um cornfield? Wheat field? Well, muddy field on a farm, anyway.

And that, dear readers, is saying a lot. Because Kim is just an incredibly hot mess there.

The reactions to this horrorshow of a dance party were swift and hilarious. Social media is already not the kindest field of commentary for Trump and his clan, but when they’re mega-dorks, the internet has a field day. And not just when they’re standing in a field.

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way:

But to sum up the comments more completely, it really was just about how awful the dancing was.

One enterprising commenter even thought to do a little side-by-side comparison with people dancing at a Kamala Harris rally.

Now, to be fair, that was half Kamala rally, half Beyoncé show. And no disrespect to the Village People, but they’re no Beyoncé. Also, a certain demographic far more widely known for their natural rhythm is FAR more represented at the Harris shindig. That is to say, there are at least some non-whites there.

Don’t get me wrong: I am white, and I understand that plenty of white people have plenty of rhythm. The whitest performer in America, Jason Mraz (the “I’m Yours” guy), was just on Dancing With the Stars and came in second. But we’re not going to pretend that white people are known primarily for their dance moves.

Some X users, of course, couldn’t help but remark on the rumors of a possible breakup between Don Junior and Guilfoyle, after he was seen some time ago with a Palm Beach Instagram model on what most saw as a date.

Observers said that Kimberly appeared to be trying to maintain some semblance of relevance after the circulation of those rumors. Guilfoyle, contrary to the frequency with which she used to appear in conjunction with Trump campaign events, has been seen less and less lately.

But regardless of the status of Junior and Kim’s relationship or even her position in the Trump campaign, in this case it was the dancing that did her in. This is almost as embarrassing as her beau’s sister-in-law Lara doing that horrifying MAGA cover of a Tom Petty song. In fact, Lara doubled down on that social miscue, thinking that it was so successful, she should later release an acoustic version of the song as well.

Suffice it to say, Kim’s as good a dancer as Lara is a singer. Which is to say, neither of them is a whole lot better than their benefactor, former president Trump. In fact, Kim appears to be doing a modified version of Trump’s signature fist-pump dance move that he’s made famous to the tune of many a subject of a cease-and-desist order.

Enjoy the party, Kim. You look like you’re in good company.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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