Politics - News Analysis
The Numbers Are In: Melania’s Memoir Is Destined for the Discount Bin, Posting Abysmal Sales
I mean, who saw THIS coming?
Melania Trump worked so hard on making bizarre promo videos for her completely unnecessary memoir that I almost feel bad reporting this to you guys, but this is my job, so here we go.
Other than that it’s a new source of grift for the former FLOTUS, nobody’s really sure why Melania Trump would write a memoir to begin with. Just in terms of sparking interest among readers, I would put a memoir by a vacuous nude model who squints out loud in a Slovenian accent right up there with “101 Recipes for Mealworm Casserole” and “The Inside of Your Colon: A Closer Look.”
And apparently I’m not the only one that thinks so.
According to the numbers from Circana’s BookScan data center for publishers, Melania’s life story sold just 85,000 copies in its first week. If that sounds like a lot still, let me put that in perspective.
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The novel Fifty Shades of Grey, once reviewed as being “as arousing as the diary of a sex offender,” sold 650,000 copies in the first three days after it hit shelves. And that’s just the “bad” book comparison. For the straight across, ex-FLOTUS to ex-FLOTUS tale of the tape, look no further than Michelle Obama’s first book after leaving the White House, Becoming. It sold 1.4 million copies in its first week. That’s 16 and a half times as many as Mel’s tell-all, or roughly how much more I’d rather read about my colon than crack the spine of Melania.
But I’m not just being rude for the sake of being rude. It turns out — at least if you read book reviews — that it’s a genuinely terrible book, one that delivers almost nothing that’s been promised in those aforementioned bizarro-world video clips she posted non-stop in the run up to the book’s release.
Just look at Vanity Fair‘s recap:
“Over the following 256 pages (if you count the photo insert, broad in space and content), Trump details her life in words—too many, some might say, and not quite the right ones—though they coalesce around certain central themes: feuds, cheering and chanting, motherhood, her special ability to communicate with Donald Trump, weird stuff with world leaders, and limousines.”
Or how about The New Yorker:
“For a woman who has been a close witness to some of this century’s most high-stakes world events, she has little to say about them and is either unwilling or unable to provide a view from within the inner sanctum.”
It sounds like these book reviewers are taking pity on Melania in much the same way I am. She doesn’t deserve it, but at least she’s sort of kind of trying to deserve it.
Or maybe she’s not. Maybe she Doesn’t Really Care, Do U?
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