Back in September, we saw a pretty disturbing new development in the documented decline of Donald Trump. In fact, it’s hard to understate how much it changed the conversation about Trump’s mental state.

In an interview, we saw him talk about “the crowd” going crazy at the debate held by ABC News between him and Vice President Kamala Harris, every time he complained about being fact checked by the moderators.

The problem was, he didn’t get fact checked half as often as he claimed. And, to put it bluntly, there was no audience in attendance. There was literally no one there but the candidates, the moderators, and the crew required to televise the event.

In short, the only person going crazy that night was Trump.

Now, either Trump is taking that trendy ayahuasca stuff, or somebody needs to run a scan on his check engine light, because he’s hallucinating again. And I’m not talking about just thinking things that aren’t true, like his staff “confirming” with the McDonald’s Corporation that Kamala Harris never worked there. McDonald’s has made no such confirmation.

What I mean is that during his little stunt to somehow prove she never worked there by pretending to serve fries to customers in the drive-thru, he was apparently seeing something that the rest of us couldn’t see: Another huge crowd.

Trump claims that 29,000 people were outside of the McDonald’s he visited this week🤦‍♂️🤡
pic.twitter.com/wMtrmseEjI

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) October 25, 2024

I made french fries, the heat was so incredible while you had to do it. There was only one problem, she never worked at McDonald’s. It was a lie. So I ended up going there for about fifteen minutes, and it became quite the— I tell you what, we had 29,000 people surrounding it. We weren’t sure if we were even going to be able to get out. That was quite the visit.

But that was to highlight the fact— so I was there, let’s say for fifteen minutes, that means I worked at McDonald’s for fifteen minutes more than Kamala. But you know what it shows? That she’s a liar. And she’s still saying ‘Yeah, I sorta worked there, but you know, everyone’s gone.’ McDonald’s tends to keep good records, we said, ‘Let’s see your tax records.” She didn’t have any. ‘Let’s see anything, give us anything.’ They had nobody. Then we went to the manager, he’s been there a long time, ‘No, she never worked here. She’s a liar.’

Okay. There’s a lot to unpack here, so we can start with the easy(?) stuff. In fact, right off the bat, I’m just going to leave this sentence hanging out there in empty space so you can really enjoy the irony of Donald Trump having said it:

“Let’s see your tax records.”

BWAHAHAHAHA… [gasp] HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Sorry. Anyway. Next, let’s examine how him stopping by a McDonald’s in suburban Pennsylvania conclusively proves that Kamala Harris never worked at any McDonald’s ever. We’ve brought in a highly-talented illustrator to make us a flowchart of exactly how this works:

Alright, I think we might have paid that guy too much. That just doesn’t work out at all.

Okay, let’s finally circle back to the greasy, previously frozen meat of this article, which is the 29,000 phantom fans that mysteriously were not visible from any camera angle, but which Trump was apparently able to count through a 14 x 29 inch window.

Let’s just skip over the fact that 29,000 people is about 14-1/2 times the population of Feasterville, PA, the suburban town Trump went to for the stunt. In fact, let’s ignore the inconvenient truth that 29,000 is more people than you’d find at a sold-out Tampa Bay Devil Rays home game.

I’m actually a little skeptical that Trump DID see all of those people. Hear me out, though. The number he used is an unusually odd number. Like, maybe he decided he was going to talk about the throngs of people, decided on 25,000, and then mentally said “Wait, that’s too round a number for people to believe. Let’s go with twenty-NINE instead.” You know, because he’d never go down from a number he’d already decided on.

Gotta make it believable, right?

But imagine he did really think there were that many people there. His delusion must have been terrifying for him to say “We weren’t sure if we were even going to be able to get out.” Imagine you’re sitting there in a limousine, trying to leave a McDonald’s parking lot with a crowd the size of a Foo Fighters concert surrounding the car. Even if the mass of humanity didn’t accidentally break a window, he certainly had to have felt like one of the people who parked in the basement of a parking structure waiting to get out after a concert.

We’ve all been there.

Where we HAVEN’T been is off in wonderland, where enough people to fill the biggest megachurch in Texas are gathered around a McDonald’s to catch a glimpse of Donald Trump in a fresh-out-of-the-box fry cook apron.

Needless to say, people were less than convinced of Trump’s honesty.

And they all said, “Sir, how do you do it, sir?” And then everyone clapped and gave him money.#TrumpIsUnfitForOffice

— Tired of trump being the dumbest MFer on Earth (@Tired_Nonsense_) October 25, 2024

“29 BILLION people came to that McDonald’s and lined up to get the burgers and fries I made. The LYING FAKE NEWS MEDIA won’t tell you this, but everyone said they were the best McDonald’s burgers they ever had. They came to me with tears in their eyes and said it.”

— REDACTED (@BiolabFella) October 25, 2024

Others thought he may actually be suffering a psychotic break, which as I said, is entirely possible.

We should consider the possibility that Trump isn’t lying when he makes ludicrous comments like this. Maybe he waves to non-existent crowds when he gets off planes because he actually sees them. He could be going full Norma Desmond on us. pic.twitter.com/jIL9D8eWY2

— greg cantwell (@gregmcantwell) October 25, 2024

The one thing we can take away from all of this is that there were absolutely not 29,000 people outside that restaurant. So Trump either needs to be committed, or strapped to a polygraph.