2024 Election

Trump’s True Crowd Size Exposed in Absolutely Humiliating Video

This is just embarrassing.

Donald Trump, the Man of the Amazing Crowds That Never Leave Early, is finding out that not many show up early, either. In fact, fewer and fewer are showing up at all.

In fact, his crowd in Saginaw, Michigan on Thursday had shrunk so much from its normal size that he might have been tempted to use the cold as an excuse. Maybe his crowd just got out of the swimming pool.

As usual, Trump’s rally coordinators placed those who were there just so, that they might look like a much bigger group if they set up the cameras right. Although Trump didn’t deploy curtains this time, he WAS speaking in a gymnasium to begin with. That’s already framing it to look packed, right?

Wrong.

Another clip of the space showed the empty, fluorescent backdrop to his speech.

Okay, I misspoke before. That looks like about a third of a gymnasium. Okay, we did say “just so,” right? Yeah, that’s one strategically placed crowd. I could fit that many people in the single city block in front of my apartment, and I live on a blind curve.

So where are the people? Maybe the Michiganders are getting tired of Trump’s rhetoric. At least change the setlist, Donnie. You can’t trot out the same old lies and just expect them to be hits every time.

There’s only so many times even the most hard-core Rolling Stones fan can hear “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” before they discover they don’t really want it anymore.

It has to be extra hard for Trump, watching his Macy’s Thanksgiving float-style rallies shrink down to a pathetic balloon poodle tied by a clown with a brown bowler hat and a signature frown. His need for attention has only gotten bigger over the years.

He’s always needed it, of course, but since he was president before, he feels like this is HIS country. In Trump’s mind, real Americans are his voters. They buy his trading cards. They make memes of him in superhero capes. They think he’s the greatest president of all time.

Unfortunately for Trump, I’m pretty sure all the people left like that were in that one-third of a gym.

YouTube video

I’d say Trump’s gone to look for America.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

Comments

Comments are currently closed.