2024 Election

Melania Delivers Cryptic and Self-Contradictory Message Following Her Husband’s Win in 2024 Election

She's almost getting good at being a Trump.

Man, do I hate the word “majority.” People use it far too often, like the words “literally” or “hilarious.” These words are almost never necessary, and very rarely convey their actual meaning. No, that cat video wasn’t “hilarious,” it just made you laugh. Hilarious is up there with the funniest joke you ever heard. “I literally got your back, bro” does not mean that someone else possesses your spine.

But anyone trying to sound important always claims the “majority” of people agree with them, and Melania Trump is no exception. She learned from the master, after all. Trump has always been able to convince at least his own followers and the media that he had “majority support” for the outrageous things he said and did the first time around.

Anyway, Melania invoked the “majority” of Americans in her first message after the election, and that wasn’t the only weird thing about it:

“The majority of Americans have entrusted us with this important responsibility.

We will safeguard the heart of our republic – freedom. I anticipate the citizens of our nation rejoining in commitment to each other and rising above ideology for the sake of individual liberty, economic prosperity, and security.

American energy, skill, and initiative will bring together our best minds to propel our nation forward forevermore.”

That was her tweet on X Wednesday night, and as I said, “majority” makes an appearance immediately. Never mind that less than half of Americans are registered voters, and Trump got less than half of those to vote for him.

The rest of the message is at odds with reality just as much.

Trump has no intention of “safeguarding freedom,” as he made abundantly clear. In fact, he’s expressed a desire to turn almost ALL decisions on rights back to the individual states, as though we never had a Civil War. One can only wonder, so soon after Trump won the election based on overturning Roe v. Wade, how quickly the states will demand to re-outlaw gay marriage on a state-by-state basis, or even return to the era of slavery.

That was the “states’ right” that we fought that war over.

But even that part of her tweet wasn’t the most confounding. In the message, she proclaims a “commitment to each other,” which will somehow rise “above ideology.” But Trump’s MAGA faithful have zero commitment to other Americans. They literally wear Trump merchandise that says “F*CK YOUR FEELINGS” on it.

And what even is “ideology” if not Trumpism itself? I sound like a broken record at this point, but it’s a cult. Trump could put a tablespoon of peanut butter on an initiative to literally execute the homeless and his hapless, helpless MAGA puppies would lick it clean.

It’s too bad that Melania couldn’t see her way clear to actually support the rights of ALL other Americans, like she does with abortion rights for women. In fact, too bad she doesn’t even support THAT right enough to come out and vote against the crop of right-wingers most responsible for eliminating that right.

Melania was completely absent for almost the entirety of Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign. I guess it should actually be called his 2021–2024 campaign, since he’s been at it since the day Joe Biden was inaugurated.

Melania made appearances here and there, but mostly in a paid capacity speaking for other groups, like the Log Cabin Republicans. She did come out and meagerly defend Donald against accusations from his former staff that he admired Hitler, but that mostly fell on deaf ears. We all know what he’s said in the past, and we knew before he was even elected the first time that he kept a copy of Mein Kampf on his nightstand — according to Melania’s predecessor, Ivana Trump.

Maybe that secret’s buried next to Ivana at Trump’s Bedminster Memorial Golf Course and Cemetery. Either way, we know the elderly fascist’s views, so even if he didn’t utter the exact words “I admire Hitler,” we at least know he emulates him.

He very notoriously ordered law enforcement to use tear gas and rubber bullets to disperse protesters at Lafayette Square so he could go hold a Bible for a photo-op at St. John’s Cathedral, and asked a top military aide why they couldn’t “just shoot them.”

No, Melania. America is going to survive despite you and your husband occupying the White House for the next four years. We will find a way to persevere in the face of Trumpian tactics and oppression.

We will overcome you and Donnie and all of the MAGA cultists because we are Americans.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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