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Rudy Giuliani Turns Over Luxury Watches in Whiny Video From His Lawyer, ‘Many of These Hold Great Sentimental Value!’

This is the definition of Schadenfreude.

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I may not normally be the kind of guy who takes pleasure in the misfortune of others, but for Rudy Giuliani, I’ll make an exception. In fact, I’ll make exceptions for almost anyone whose misfortune is caused by something they did to themselves.

Of all of the job titles that Giuliani has ever held, “Trump Lackey” will be the leading candidate for his epitaph. It certainly won’t be “America’s Mayor,” like it was shortly after 9/11. Rudy flushed every ounce of goodwill this country had for him away with his pathetic and unwavering support for Trump’s clearly-illegal activities.

In fact, emulating his New York idol, Giuliani committed a few crimes himself.

Well, a little light defamation, anyway. Like in the case of Trump defaming the victim of his sexual assault, Giuliani was found to have lied extensively about his own victims — in his case, two Georgia election workers that won a $148 million judgment against him. From an AP report on the case:

The damages verdict follows emotional testimony from Wandrea “Shaye” Moss and her mother, Ruby Freeman, who tearfully described becoming the target of a false conspiracy theory pushed by Giuliani and other Republicans as they tried to keep then-President Donald Trump in power after he lost the 2020 election.

Now, one of Giuliani’s representatives has announced that he’s handed over much of the material possessions he was ordered by a judge to surrender, having nowhere near the money on hand to satisfy the sum he owed the pair. Those items included a Mercedes once owned by Lauren Bacall, his New York penthouse, and more than two dozen watches he’d accumulated.

He was apparently pretty bitter about the watches.

The representative, Ted Goodman, posted a video to social media site X, lamenting the loss of Giuliani’s treasured timepieces. But in light of his crimes against Moss and Freeman, who were subsequently the victims of harassment and death threats from Trump voters in 2020 and 2021, I can’t help but feel a little schadenfreude.

He FedEx-ed the watches to the women. I honestly hope he had to drive the car over, and maybe give the women a tour of their swanky new apartment.

As you can hear in Ted’s voice, he’s pretty upset about the travesty being committed against Rudy. Well, well… If it isn’t the consequences of your own actions, Mr. Mayor.

In the original video, which is much longer than the clip here (but still just shows Goodman’s face for a moment and then continuously pans over the watch collection), Goodman cries out “This is a man who demonstrated courage by running towards the flames and now he’s being forced to turn all this over under court order in an absolute bastardization of our justice system!”

Could it be, Ted, that Rudy was a different man 24 years ago? That maybe he actually still loved America back before Trump and the promise of money and power got their hooks into him?

I had my own input for the disgraced mayor:

Others, commenting on Ron’s version of the video, had their own thoughts:

As you can see, there was a lot more schadenfreude than just mine. The fact is, people are sick of seeing the people surrounding Trump avoiding punishment and consequences for the crimes they committed on Dear Leader’s behalf. Lying about Moss and Freeman was only the tip of the iceberg for Giuliani, who literally traveled to Ukraine to try and finish the job of extorting the country’s president for “dirt” on Joe Biden — a crime that Trump himself got impeached for.

Looking at those watches, I’d say it’s the perfect time for others connected to Trump to get their affairs in order as well.

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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