Former First Lady Michelle Obama was conspicuously absent from the funeral service of America’s 39th President, Jimmy Carter. Her stern but graceful presence was notably missed for a number of reasons, including the fact that she’s been at nearly every other major event since the Obamas formally entered public life back in 2007.

And yes, there was plenty of speculation about why she wasn’t there, especially from her haters on the right. They have been especially vicious to her over the years, accusing her of being a man, calling her “Moochelle,” mocking her children, and just generally being cruel.

Some were forthright in their criticism, with one social media user saying “Michelle Obama is not at the State funeral for President Carter. She’s in Hawaii and I guess she couldn’t get her act together to come east. Disgraceful.”

Others remarked on everyone equally nastily. Another X user wrote “Trump is chatting up Obama. Anti-American Michelle Obama didn’t show up. Hillary looks like the witch she is. Melania looks like she’d rather be any place else and everybody looks like they hate each other.”

That could very well be the case, in fact. There is a lot of animosity among those major players, and everyone has pretty valid cause to think less than highly of everyone else. After all, everyone, including the Democrats mentioned there, has been overtly racist toward Barack and Michelle at some point. Trump can’t stand how much more popular than him Obama was and remains. Melania has to feel inadequate next to former First Ladies who actually got things accomplished, other than wearing weird outfits and defending prior nude modeling careers.

Trump himself was surely in a terrible mood to begin with. He knew that in less than 24 hours, he was going to become the first convicted felon ever to hold the American presidency.

However, my theory is that Michelle got a look at the seating chart in advance.

Much like former Second Lady Karen Pence, who pointedly refused to greet the Trumps when they walked past her to their seats, Michelle has felt the personal slight from both of them. The Trumps have been so exceedingly vile to her specifically, and of course also to her husband, that it’s hard to imagine she could stomach the thought of being seated next to them.

We all know Michelle is more than capable of reaching across the aisle, especially in times of national mourning. The picture of her and George W. Bush sharing a mint at John McCain’s funeral, then repeating the scene at his father’s funeral later that year went viral.

But the thought of having to be seated next to the man who not only was a villain to her family, but who disgraced the office her husband once held, must have been overwhelming. Not only did he single her out during his most recent campaign for the 2024 election, calling her “nasty” and “evil” and asking if he can “hit” her at a rally in North Carolina, but he’s just the all-around antithesis of what Michelle sees as a decent human.

Everyone else may be sanewashing the candidacy and ultimate presidency of Donald Trump, but she sees him as the convicted felon and adjudicated sexual abuser that he is.

Michelle may have made it through Rosalynn Carter’s funeral, but after Trump won again, continued disrespecting everyone — including Jimmy Carter — and dared to show up for Carter’s funeral himself, she just couldn’t be there.