Well, if there’s one thing the Trump administration knows how to do with flair, it’s tanking the economy while bragging about how “great” things are going. In a move that economists might someday teach in a course titled *”What Not to Do with a Global Superpower”*, the Trump White House is apparently leading the U.S. economy into a slow-motion faceplant.

Let’s start with tourism—you know, the concept of foreigners spending loads of cash here on Broadway tickets, plastic Statue of Liberty crowns, and overpriced airport coffee. That used to be a thing. But ever since Trump made America “welcoming” again with travel bans, excessive visa hurdles, and a general anti-foreigner vibe, the U.S. has become less of a dream vacation and more of a cautionary tale. Foreign tourism dollars are drying up faster than Trump’s fake tan in the Florida sun, and the hit to local economies is, well, “yuge.”

Foreign tourism has been a tailwind for the U.S. in recent years as the cessation of pandemic-era restrictions sparked a resurgence of international travel. But many potential visitors are now rethinking their vacation plans amid increased hostility at the border, rising geopolitical frictions and global economic uncertainty.

One of them is Curtis Allen, a Canadian videographer who canceled an upcoming U.S. vacation after Donald Trump imposed punitive tariffs on his home country and suggested it should become the 51st US state. Allen and his partner have been on multiple camping trips to Oregon over the years, but this year, they will be traveling around British Columbia instead.

“We’re not just staying home,” said Allen, 34. “We’re going to go spend the same money somewhere else.”

Allen’s hesitance doesn’t stop there. He canceled his Netflix subscription and is actively avoiding American imports at the grocery store.

“Now it takes us double the time, because we’re looking at where the products came from,” he said.

When asked about the declining tourism, which is estimated to cost us over $6 billion, Trump said, “It’s not a big deal”. Oh no?

Trump on the steep drop in international tourism to the US: "It's not a big deal" pic.twitter.com/oFdwTF8sOd

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 23, 2025

Then there’s the trade policy, which is basically the economic equivalent of a toddler throwing Legos at their sibling and being shocked when they throw them back. Slapping tariffs on imports to “win” a trade war has only triggered retaliatory tariffs from other countries. Now, American farmers are stuck with soybeans no one wants, manufacturers are feeling the burn, and we’re all paying more for everyday items—because apparently “economic nationalism” translates to “let’s all pay extra for socks.”

And don’t forget immigration, the favorite scapegoat for every problem under the Trump sun. By gutting immigration policies, the administration has made it harder for businesses to hire the workers they need. Farms are understaffed, tech companies are frustrated, and construction projects are stalled—not because people are lazy, but because there aren’t enough workers to get the job done. So, yes, let’s shrink the labor force and then be shocked when productivity drops. Genius.

Internationally, the U.S. isn’t exactly being voted “Most Likely to Succeed” these days. Longtime allies are giving us the cold shoulder, trade partners are side-eyeing us with sanctions, and foreign investors are increasingly asking, “Do we really *need* to do business with the land of tariffs and tantrums?”

All in all, it’s an impressive feat—alienate tourists, bungle trade relationships, restrict the workforce, and still call it a booming economy. Somewhere, a gold-plated calculator is weeping. But fear not—there’s always someone else to blame. China, immigrants, the Fed, windmills… take your pick. Just don’t look at the guy in the red tie holding the economic matchstick.

So buckle up. If this is the Trump version of a “thriving economy,” we might want to prepare for the financial equivalent of a three-ring circus—complete with elephants, clowns, and absolutely no adult supervision.