Politics - News Analysis

Trump is Furious…FURIOUS…that Melania Was Never on Any Magazine Covers as First Lady

It is a surprising fact that most women can go their entire lives without appearing on a women’s fashion magazine cover and not give it a second thought, not bothered at all. It is another surprising fact that women who might’ve wanted to get on a magazine cover make it worse by drawing attention to the fact that they’d been skipped over. Melania’s family seems quite upset about it.

We can presume Melania isn’t happy about it because all she’d need to say to Donald is “Don’t say anything about it or I might start unloading some things that I actually have been upset about.”

Issue ends.

Now the New York Post is covering it and nothing good can come from the New York Post covering anything because they’re Trump apologists to a fault, a big fault.

A count by the Daily Mail found by contrast, Michelle Obama, graced at least 12 magazine covers during her time in office — including three for Vogue alone.

Maybe they just liked Michelle? Has anyone considered the possibility? If Melania hadn’t walked around all the time with a “Fck you” look on her face, maybe they’d think she was just right. Maybe they hated the “f-you” coat? A lot of models are immigrants. Including .. never mind.

Hey? Here’s a thing.

“First Lady Melania Trump departed the White House for Palm Beach, Florida on Wednesday in a sleek ensemble with knockout thigh-high leather boots,” gushed Breitbart’s in-house fashion guru John Binder, alongside images of the first couple departing the White House to spend Christmas at Mar-a-Lago.

Breitbart has an in-house fashion guru? To do what?

Show us one picture since Melania’s been first lady in which she wasn’t wearing high heels? Sometimes it’s best to look dressed down when you eventually want to look dressed up.

The website additionally reported she was wearing an Azzedine Alaïa wool coat which retails for a cool $6,610.

Actually, there’s nothing cool about wearing a coat that costs more than a kid’s tuition at a junior college. Sometimes wearing rich shit just because you’re rich is sort of tacky. Try wearing an Eddie Bauer coat or a North Face coat and see if they don’t “gush” just as much about a woman “of the people.”

Maybe she’d make some magazine covers, even though “people” don’t normally care.

Also, on Christmas, when people are sick and losing unemployment benefits, couldn’t Trump find something more important to tweet about?

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Peace, y’all
Jason
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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