Politics - News Analysis

MAGA Man Rep. Cawthorn Calls Fauci a ‘Punk’ and Hilariously Threatens to ‘Prosecute’ Fauci If GOPs Win in 2022

For anyone who writes or reads about politics on a daily basis, one feels wrapped in the arms of angels upon logging on to Twitter and seeing “Madison Cawthorn” trending. The man is a walking “Stupid Quote” app. And he never disappoints. Like Trump, when it comes to stupidity, Madison is the Republican equivalent of Elizabeth Warren, “Nevertheless, he persisted.”

Today, our dashing young MAGA rep removed all doubt as to whether he could even pass a citizenship test. Like all good Republicans, Madison (Sounds like your girlfriend, doesn’t it?) assumes that the MAGAs will win the House in 2022. History says that he’s likely right. As everyone knows, the midterms almost always go against the president’s party and that was even before the draconian voting laws put in place to make damned sure 2020 never happens again.

So, Madison is excited because he has big plans when they get that majority. The first thing they are going to do when Kevin McCarthy becomes Speaker is they are going to prosecute Dr. Anthony Fauci, professor of medicine, Medal of Freedom winner, and “punk” (according to the man who embodies the definition of “punk”) Yes, they’re coming for Fauci.

It takes a Madison Cawthorn to make such a statement and not just because of the fact that Madison didn’t name a particular crime (they will figure out the crime when they sentence him, find a long one). But, unlike everyone reading this piece, Madison doesn’t know that the “Congress” (either side) doesn’t “prosecute” anything, except in the form of impeachment and you cannot “impeach” the White House’s chief medical advisor. But that won’t stop Cawthorn! He is in the “Post-Constitution” party, they’ll find a way… just as soon as they win the election, or just throw out elections altogether.

Here’s our guy:

Right. And with that, the tweets hit hard. One is particularly important. It wasn’t “just” Marjorie and Boebert who knew that January 6th was going to be special. This slipped unnoticed, even by us.

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That is deeply concerning. Some tweets were just funny:

We love it when the world’s foremost expert on evolution weighs in on COVID and vaccines. Sir Richard Dawkins, above, probably has some thoughts on natural selection.

We cannot confirm, but:

STFU! There are many of us walking people who aren’t as young and spry as we used to be and could be dead if assaulted. There are also small but fit women that would be in the same position. And yet we know the statistics, too (science), and know that given every variable, that gun in your wheelchair is most likely to kill you, or an innocent bystander, not an assailant.

“Punk”? Funny, when we think of “punk,” a specific person pops up really fast.

We have to leave it there. We are certain that blood pressures are rising as it is.

Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad, writing from the beaches of the Gulf Coast, getting advice from his beloved daughter and teammate. He is very much the dreamy mystic that cannot add and loves dogs more than most people. He also likes studying cooking, theoretical physics, cosmology, and quantum mechanics. He likes pizza.


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