We think we know what it is.

Conservatives have been angry for over a week that the Obamas planned a blowout party to end all blowout parties. Conservatives says it’s a superspreader… that ain’t why they’re mad.

Apparently, invitations went out to 600 people, though – one will surely find in years to come, that 6,000 people claimed to have been invited. Five-thousand and four-hundred couldn’t go because they had a conflict. They had dinner reservations at Red Lobster for Grandma’s birthday, you know.

I have vaccinated COVID, which wiped me out in case someone we’ll call “Nicole” invited me at the last minute. (For those of a certain age, if you recall the movie “Pretty in Pink” – I’m Duckie, take it from there).

So there will be thousands upon thousands of liberals claiming to be invited to the Obama party because – let’s face it – the Queen, Elizabeth Windsor, couldn’t throw a party like this one. This one has the King and Queen, and J-Lo, Beyonce, and John Legend. Sorry, your majesty, this might be the baddest ass party ever.

But you know who won’t be there? There won’t be any dicks at this party. And that leaves a whole lot of people out that are now crying about it being a COVID-super spreader. But it’s mostly because they weren’t invited. Sean Hannity surely wasn’t invited, Sean Hannity would keep people away. Tucker, nope. etc. etc. Fox and “Friends” is now kinda a joke, how many friends do they have? Any named George Clooney and-or Michael Jordan? Donald Trump? Bwahahahaha.

Actually, That might have been a great idea. One of two things would’ve happened. He would be the only person in the world who was a big enough loser he would refuse to come, OR, he would recognize that all the “winners” were there, so he must be a winner and show up. He would then find himself with at least twenty to thirty feet of perfectly manicured grass between him and every other guest. The pictures would be almost as priceless as the 10,000 engraved “official invitations” that went out.

So other conservatives – not invited – are freaked out:

The MAGAs have literally spent the entire weekend obsessing over a retired guy’s birthday party. pic.twitter.com/C2YlWC8gib

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) August 8, 2021

Here’s Obama dancing maskless with hundreds of his birthday party attendees last night. But, remember, it’s not safe for your kids to go to school without wearing masks. All of this is total and complete bullshit: https://t.co/QGxov4ZJrC

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) August 8, 2021

Five years from now, they’ll be talking about that thing they were doing, they promised the neighbor they’d help with the new siding, conflicts, you know? It doesn’t matter how much they hate this guy – and they do – they desperately wish they were invited to this thing.

Some of them might even consider getting vaccinated to go! Oh, that’s right – we forgot, the conservative stars have been vaccinated forever. They just gotta play stupid on television. They have no excuse for not going… other than being dicks. Which is different than being a Duckie. 

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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak