Forgive us, but every time we’re forced to report on something having to do with boats and MAGAs we are forced to note that if there was anything built to appeal to MAGAs, it has to be a boat, right? And it’s not our fault that there seems to be a lot of overlap between Russians and MAGAs right now. Even if there is no overlap, we still have a good idea and the rule still holds.

These items are owned almost primarily by white men (though that is, of course, a generalization) with quite a bit of disposable income. At least in this part of the world, particularly in Florida, and – apparently, in Russia (but now we’re not talking income, we’re talking wealth built from… God only knows), it would be an item that one takes out and takes pride. Just having one is great, having one bigger than everyone else’s is, well – really great. We have also heard, though not through any woman we know, we’ve heard that there is a class of women that are very attracted to men with yachts and size absolutely does matter when it comes to yachts. In fact, a gigantic yacht can make up for even extremely small other issues one might have.

We have said the same about golf, to a lesser extent. It is a sport dominated by white men, wanting to be in exclusive clubs. A big part of the game is hitting it longer than anyone else, with the express purpose of getting in the hole quickest, making it look almost effortless. Do not blame us, those are just two well-known facts about these topics and we can see why they appeal to MAGAs and Russians.

Really wealthy Russians really love their yachts. They seem to have an emotional attachment to their yacht similar to their attachment to an attachment. If, as part of the sanctions leveled on Russia, one seizes their yachts, well, it’s not our fault that it’s a lot like seizing a part of…

Our point is, that if one really wants Putin’s biggest supporters mad at Putin, take their yachts. Just take them. Putin has shelled non-combatants, killing innocents. It is absolutely abhorrent and unforgivable. He will not be given a second chance or a deal.

So do not just seize the yachts, take them. Do not resell them, they’ll only go to some other obscenely rich asshole from somewhere else in the world. Take those fckers out, get everyone off, put it on some kind of cruise control, and let the U.S. Navy practice live-fire exercises, in cooperation with submarines, of course.

SINK THEM AND FILM THE ENTIRE EXERCISE AND FORCE IT TO BE AIRED ON RUSSIAN TELEVISION AS PART OF REPARATIONS. Then just tell the Russians they’re lucky that was the only attachment that was seized and rendered useless.

Germany has already seized Alisher Usmanov’s yacht, reportedly one of the biggest in the world – the yacht, let’s be perfectly clear since we’ve mixed metaphors. They are halfway there. If Usmanov believes that he’s getting it back eventually, it really doesn’t have the bite that it would otherwise have. And look, for anyone lamenting that much money going to the bottom, when it can be used to help the people of Ukraine, simply fine him for the value of the yacht and give that money to the Ukrainians.

We stand firmly behind taking this thing into the black sea, close enough to the shore that it could be seen, or hell – anywhere, so long as it’s on video and send it to the bottom:

BREAKING: Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov's super yacht, one of the biggest in the world, seized in Germany – Forbes pic.twitter.com/dPiFIDi7Ek

— BNO News (@BNONews) March 2, 2022

The fish would LOVE their new reef, so many different rooms to explore, so much area for coral to grow. Think of it as a gift to our friends that live in the sea and the best Americans, risking their lives to keep us free right now. We doubt they get many opportunities to practice on things this size and value.

Sink it.

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[email protected] with Nicole Hickman (Who is far more into the world’s biggest heart and brain than a yacht.)