Maybe that orange spray tan Donald Trump keeps using is damaging his brain, but whatever the reason, he clearly woke up on the weird side of the bed Wednesday and dropped a conspiracy theory-laden four-minute-long tirade on Truth Social. He blamed President Joe Biden, the FBI, and “tech tyrants” for tormenting him with their deep-state powers, Uproxx reports.

He says he knows all this thanks to Elon Musk’s “Twitter files.” And gosh darn it, if Elon allowed a few selected journalists to release all them internal communications (per Mediaite) then it must be true.

“The now-famous Twitter Files have proven beyond all doubt that the corrupt officials at the FBI have been coordinating censorship and surveillance propaganda campaign against the American people and, frankly, against me,” Trump ranted, as Mediaite reports. Then of course, it was time for him to yell about COVID lockdown conspiracies. “They suppressed doctors and health experts who dared to question approved health narratives. They censored voices who criticized school closures, lockdowns, and mandates, and they even banned people for stating proven scientific facts and anything bad about China, they didn’t want out.”

Because of course, anyone who isn’t dead knows Trump has few nice things to say about China. But then he changed horses in mid-stream and said he wants the newly Republican-controlled House to hold hearings to investigate the “deep state” that did him wrong.

“The new Congress should immediately hold hearings to investigate the role of the FBI and other federal agencies in censoring lawful speech,” Trump thundered. “Congressional leaders should promptly issue subpoenas in furtherance of this goal. The revelations also highlight why my proposal to end the revolving door between the deep state and there is a deep state indeed. I wasn’at a believer, but everybody’s a believer right now.”

Trump also called for a seven-year “cooling off” period before government officials are allowed to work for tech platforms. But what fun would that be? How would we get the deep-state QAnon information we so crave? I mean, how will we find out which cannibalistic pedophile Democrat/Hollywood celebrity is firing up the barbecue? Or when Jewish people in California are preparing their space lasers again? Or maybe — maybe we should all wait for JFK Jr. to announce his plans to run as Trump’s VP in 2024? I mean the rest of the world knows he died on July 16, 1999, but these people believe.

They really, really do.