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Ron DeSantis Magically Grew 4″ Overnight to Be the Same Height as Tiger Woods and Twitter Is in Hysterics

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Heightism is real. Ask any of us guys who are just up against the line to where the ramifications really hit. Five feet, ten inches, is close enough to average to avoid most strong discrimination, but any man under 5’8 is going to face a much more difficult time climbing in the world. This is not to say it’s on par with the discrimination women face with respect to physical beauty, but height matters for men both in employment and with women.

Donald Trump knows this as well as anyone, and that is surely why Trump is always wearing those high “heels” that cause him to stand as if he got the toilet plunger stuck up in him the last time he used the restroom. Is it possible that Ron DeSantis is overcompensating a bit?

Few people know DeSantis was an elite athlete, as the captain of his Yale baseball team and the team’s leading hitter, batting .331 his senior season (anything above .300 is excellent). And, he’s not a bad-looking guy – he used to be a really handsome fella before the “Dad-bod” ran a little out of control. His wife is certainly stunningly gorgeous. But he’s not a tall and imposing figure.

DeSantis was even a star Little League player in Florida. Like he was really good.

Now, the expert in all things “Florida politics,” Ron Filipkowski, says that he’s detected a bit of a growth spurt in the governor and, no – HGH doesn’t work once one is fully grown:

Twitter had some observations about why DeSantis might resort to “tricks” learned at the knee of the “master.”

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, SUBSTACK: MUCH LEFT ADO

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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