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New Picture of Trump Making the Rounds Shows a CLEARLY Unwell Man

We get it, you want to be tan. That's not tan,

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For the life of me, I cannot understand what makes Donald Trump paint himself orange. I mean, obviously it’s a vanity thing, but then why skip the ears? He looks like an idiot.

The newest image of Trump to go viral is perhaps the most extreme example of his vanity while still being an idiot.

We all already knew his vanity got the best of him when he began wearing his alopecia-riddled hairdo in an impossible combover that everyone knows is a combover, but he still denied it. That was decades ago.

Since then, he’s denigrated beautiful news reporters and models and just regular old women for the tiniest slights against traditional beauty. Breasts not big enough, cut her hair too short; he’s on video saying all of it.

That’s what makes this new picture both hilarious and tragic.

Even you, dear reader, couldn’t possibly see this coming. For a man as vain as Trump, it’s astounding that he can’t see his own ugliness. And I don’t mean he’s necessarily “ugly” like someone with abnormal features or some kind of defect, I mean, ugly through his own choices of how to present himself.

Oversized suits, too-long ties that are held to his shirt with cellophane tape, and of course that insane hairdo, Trump has it all.

But his relatively recent conversion to being orange-colored is the most baffling. Why pick the color you’ve picked consistently for years and then not apply it — or let your makeup artist apply it — evenly? I don’t mean to be overly colloquial, but:

REALLY, DAWG?!?

All I ask is that we get to a point where, as a country, we refuse to elect someone who paints their face, BUT NOT THE WHOLE THING. I mean, we’ll disagree politically and socially and personally, but can we at least agree that if you’re going to go orange, at LEAST do the whole head?

And the responsibility that should lie with those around him; his supermodel wife, his many many aides, his own family; is to at least let him know that he looks stupid. Like, just say to Donald in the morning, “Do you OWN a mirror? Was your house on fire when you left? Because you’re a hot mess, Donnie.”

People on X/Twitter had a field day:

Andrew Simpson
meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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