Opinion

Melania’s Book Sales Plummet Even Further South, and Compared to Michelle Obama’s Book ‘Melania’ Is a Humiliating Failure

It's gone from terrible to horrifyingly bad.

If you thought our last report on the sales of Melania Trump’s new memoir — the aptly titled Melania — was bad, wait until you see the numbers from this week. I would tell the former FLOTUS to flush her promo push for the book down the drain, but in the immortal words of Cousin Eddie, “Sh*tter’s full!”

That could be because of the insipid nature of the book itself. It has been reviewed as a largely self-serving vehicle for the arrogance and entitlement that Mrs. Trump had even before she met the poster boy for those qualities.

In fact, readers (and reviewers) have found that Melania doesn’t even touch on any of the things that a possible consumer might hope to see from someone with such a unique perspective on the most controversial presidency in modern times.

Absolutely none of the trials and scandals that Melania’s husband has been involved in are even mentioned in the book. That’s likely a demand from Trump himself that she not include any of that material. But you’d think there might at least be one or two lines in a book that Melania touts as the “truthful” account of her time in the White House and before about the fact that her husband cheated on her with not one but two adult entertainment stars while she was pregnant with her and Donald’s only child together.

Regardless, we reported less than a week ago that the initial BookScan sales numbers were just garbage. But that was just a report on what HAD been the first week’s numbers. The second week’s numbers are now in, and I think I can see Melania hiding in the bathroom at her own party, because this is just embarrassing.

Melania came out and tweeted a fancy picture of a plane taken from the plane she was on, in hopes that it would get people to start buying the “collector’s edition” that contains, I don’t know, pictures of weird stuff she’s taken since someone showed her how to use a camera.

As expected, sales shot through the roof plummeted drastically after the promo push.

Not only did the numbers not go up, like Michelle Obama’s first book after leaving the White House did, they went down to less than half what they’d been in the opening week. Rather than the meager 85,000 copies she sold from release day to a week later, she dropped down to a pathetic 35,000 in the 7 days after that.

Contrast it with Obama’s book, you say? Sure! In the time it took Mel to sell those 85K copies of her book, Michelle sold 1.4 million copies of hers. How’s THAT for perspective?

I wonder why that incredible special version of the book didn’t sell! Could it be that the paperback is already $30, and they want a whopping $250 for the enhanced version?

One way or the other, a fool and their money are soon parted, as they say, so I have little doubt that plenty of MAGA voters who like books with pictures will snatch up her collector’s item.

They can put it on the shelf next to their Cowboy Firefighter Trump virtual trading card.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

Comments

Comments are currently closed.