Opinion

Trump’s FBI Pick Has an Interesting Thing in Common With Don Jr – They Both Have a VERY Long Case of the ‘Sniffles’

I don't smell anything, do you?

There’s plenty to dislike about all of Trump’s nominees, but a few have really stood out from all the rest. The latest big-name pick is Trump’s nominee for FBI Director, Kash Patel. Honestly, there’s so much wrong with this dude, it’s hard to know where to start.

There’s the fact that he’s a massive “deep state” conspiracy theorist — to the point that he wants to turn the actual FBI building into a “Deep State Museum” that’s no longer used and instead recognized as a shameful part of American history.

Now, if Patel were talking about how the FBI finally came clean about their role in the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., or their political involvement in a host of other domestic suppression activities while under the direction of less-than-scrupulous men, that would almost be a novel idea.

But that’s not the FBI anymore… and THAT’s why Patel thinks it should change. He wants to go back to those “good old days” of coercion, witness tampering, and rampant civil rights violations. If you don’t believe me, let’s check in with the Legal Defense Fund, the organization founded by America’s first Black Supreme Court Justice:

In an interview last year with Steve Bannon, another longtime loyalist of Mr. Trump’s, Mr. Patel threatened to ‘go out and find the conspirators, not just in government but in the media,’ who Patel falsely stated ‘helped Joe Biden rig presidential elections,’ and ‘prosecute them.’ Mr. Patel’s ongoing dissemination of disinformation and overt threats against our free press and against perceived political opponents of Mr. Trump’s—premised on false conspiracy theories about the 2020 election—are beyond the pale …

Mr. Patel’s unfettered fealty to the President-elect and agenda of vengeance are particularly concerning because the FBI has a long and sordid history of infringing upon the constitutional rights of countless individuals, including Black civil rights leaders and activists. The FBI Director must therefore be vigilant in ensuring that the agency acts neutrally and with the utmost respect for the Constitution. Nothing in Mr. Patel’s profile indicates an ability to be a fair and ethical steward of the vast and penetrating resources of the FBI. To the contrary, his statement and record suggest that he is wholly unfit for this nomination.

The bold parts obviously are selected by your humble author to underscore the fact that not only is Kash Patel still insisting that the 2020 election was stolen, but that he wants to prosecute the people he thinks are responsible for it (who don’t exist, because it wasn’t stolen).

It’s almost like this guy’s on drugs. Oh, wait, that was what this article was about! I got so focused on what an absolute dumpster fire of a nominee he is that I forgot to mention his constant sniffing.

Now, I can’t obviously come out and say without any proof that Kash Patel is ingesting some sort of powdered substance inhaled through the nostrils, but I can say that the circumstantial evidence is pretty overwhelming, ASIDE from all the batsh*t-crazy stuff he believes.

Here’s a minute-and-a-half supercut, courtesy of Meidas Touch editor Ron Filipkowski, of Kash Patel saying a whole lot of words really quickly, while performing the same “nervous tic” that Donald Trump Junior has perfected over the last decade, minus the gum-rubbing:

Now, I’m not saying that I ever did anything like that at all. Heaven forfend! But I have, um, been around people who were known to partake in such illicit substances, and that 82 seconds looks like a lot of people I’ve been around.

Let’s see what the folks on the all-knowing internet are thinking.

Well. Way to set the tone, I guess, fellas.

That would be a reference to Dr. Ronny Jackson, well-known as the guy who constantly lied for Trump about his health and also kept a large stash of potent pharmaceuticals to dispense to friends while he worked in the White House.

Unfortunately for the country, if Trump has his way, there will be no screening process.

So here we are: A wholly unqualified nominee to run the nation’s largest law enforcement agency, who has a suspected drug problem and wants to use the FBI to go after bad guys that don’t exist.

We are in for a pretty stupid four years, guys.

meet the author

Andrew is a dark blue speck in deep red Central Washington, writing with the conviction of 18 years at the keyboard and too much politics to even stand. When not furiously stabbing the keys on breaking news stories, he writes poetry, prose, essays, haiku, lectures, stories for grief therapy, wedding ceremonies, detailed instructions on making doughnuts from canned biscuit dough (more sugar than cinnamon — duh), and equations to determine the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. A girlfriend, a dog, two cats, and two birds round out the equation, and in his spare time, Drewbear likes to imagine what it must be like to have spare time.

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