All hail before the mighty Donald Trump, miracle worker, stable genius, a man all the women want, richer than butter, and so physically adroit, he can even catch a Sharpie out of mid-air. All Hail Donald Trump!

That appears to be the message emanating out of Trump world this morning after last night’s rally. While Trump’s home state was still in a stupor over the massive hit it took from Hurricane Ian, Trump went to Michigan to talk about his greatness and grievance for 103 minutes. It will be up to Democrats to care about Florida. Biden is going to Puerto Rico and Florida this week.

At the end of the rally, someone threw Trump a red hat, and the person threw a sharpie so Trump could draw Hurricane Ian’s path straight into Alabama. No, the sharpie was thrown so that Trump could sign his name to the hat. And guess what happened? Guess what happened! Trump caught the sharpie!!! All Hail…

Holy shlit this catch! pic.twitter.com/klj5rG7qq5

— Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) October 2, 2022

And of course Don Jr. had to pipe in on the video:

Biden cant bring a fricken bicycle to a stop and Trump is out there catching sharpies out of mid air. https://t.co/BYeyLccoGy

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) October 2, 2022

Junior, Junior, Junior. One cannot tumble gently off a bike unless one can first ride the bike. Additionally, dangerously, deranged, and rageful people can often catch sharpies out of thin air. It is not indicative of “good health.” Someone on Twitter noted that he would like to see Trump run to the end of his driveway.

Twitter went off on this miracle:

Twitchy, your sperm donor can’t even drink a glass of water with one hand.
He can’t navigate a ramp, can’t catch a baseball, and his concept of “exercise” is defined by driving a golf cart in a moderate wind.
His flesh is like milk-fed veal.

Oh, and he still doesn’t love you. pic.twitter.com/A1O7kk4X6L

— Jo 🌻 (@JoJoFromJerz) October 2, 2022

Donald Trump can’t walk down a ramp or drink from a glass. Oh yea! He needs to learn how to blend his makeup better too. pic.twitter.com/K6UeInENpl

— I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ☮️ (@boyle_kathy) October 2, 2022

Why won’t your family step in, Junior? This is elder abuse. He think he is in the WH still meeting with Zuckerberg 🙄 https://t.co/xu785GkP2N

— Debbie (@DebbieSVA) October 2, 2022

Former defeated, twice impeached, one term president, Donald Trump is the first president ever to STEAL classified, secret & nuclear documents.

— JAS16UT✡️ ☮️ (@JAS16AZ) October 2, 2022

It’s super weird you call your dad “Trump”

— 👻 M i i i i i i k e (@michaeldailey) October 2, 2022

All you’ve done is to remind us that your father can’t ride a bike, and that he needs to do the unthinkable by driving his golf cart onto a green because it’s too hard for him to walk. pic.twitter.com/vsdpGoRnbC

— Kal – Those who don’t think, don’t question. (@TruthJustis4USA) October 2, 2022

PRO TIP: one of the many ways you can discern that you're definitely in a cult is when you get a public-facing rave boner from watching the cult leader use basic skills like hand-eye coordination.#justsaynotocults

— christopher michael (@yoyoyodatweets) October 2, 2022

He caught a pen that he was expecting to be gently tossed to him? Or is there something in the video I missed that was actually impressive?

— Civis Mundus (@CivisMundusSum) October 2, 2022

He should receive the Lifetime achievement award for that obviously. No one could have done that. Everyone said it couldn’t be done but there were people coming up to me with tears in their eyes telling me they knew if it was anyone one who could it was meeeeee!!! I agreed.

— Anna (@annamook) October 2, 2022

Don’t forget, Junior, that your father couldn’t beat Joe in a race for the presidency.

— KD 📚🌎🌊🇺🇸 (@kdnerak33) October 2, 2022

Junior, if you're proud of Dad catching a sharpie you must be absolutely beaming at all the STD's he's caught.

— Greta (@GretaGrace20) October 2, 2022

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with Nicole Hickman