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Ted Cruz Getting Out of Bus to ‘Eye of the Tiger’ Is Most Pathetic Thing You’ll See Today

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First of all, is there a more “bad 80s” song than Eye of the Tiger? Not that the entirety of the 80s was bad. Indeed, some of us had a lot of great firsts in the 80s. They weren’t even that bad musically, U2, Guns n Roses, Bowie, Sir Elton John, we could go on and on, of course. But when one thinks of “Good 80s,” one doesn’t conjure up the bad Rocky movies and even worse accompanying song, “Eye of the Tiger.”

But if you are going to use Eye of the Tiger as walkout music, well – don’t use walk-out music, to begin with. Have the dignity to just be grateful that people are there and thus respect them by just being who you are, with the confidence to just be yourself. If you are going to use Eye of the Tiger, you better be a pro-wrestler because everything is fake, including the “eye of the tiger” stuff.

Below, watch Ted Cruz come out of his bus on his “Truth and Courage” tour (Nice of Ted to tell us he’s courageous. People with courage don’t need to tell others.) First, he goes down a line shaking hands like he’s starting at shortstop for the National League in the All-Star game. How much better would it look if he came down, waved, and then just started shaking hands, looking people in the eye, stopping, smiling, and being nice… wait, we’re no longer talking about Ted if that’s the expectation.

Never mind. Just get a load of this freakshow, and as you do so, recall – over and over – that this is the most hated man in Congress, and it’s not even close, which is just an incredible feat. Here is Ted, playing like he is, well – Bono.

Oh, for god’s sake. Twitter couldn’t slam on Ted enough.

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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with Nicole Hickman

Jason Miciak
meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

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