During her time as First Lady, one thing became crystal clear about Melania Trump: she goes her own way. She doesn’t necessarily care about tradition, which she often flouted as First Lady. We all know, after all, how she feels about Christmas.

But the thing is, when a candidate is running for president, their spouse is put under the microscope. First ladies are expected to embrace the role with enthusiasm and a mission to take on during their days in the White House. But while her husband was prez, Melania took a sledgehammer to these expectations, which she didn’t want to follow.

And I have to admit this leaves me conflicted. I don’t care for Melania but I understand her here. I have my own expectations of myself but I don’t care what others expect of me. It’s taken me almost 64 years to achieve this, but I’m definitely less stressed over this than I used to be.

Nevertheless, it would have been nice if Melania had put some effort into a job she obviously didn’t want.

In an interview with SheKnows, Kate Andersen Brower, author of First Women: The Grace and Power of America’s Modern First Ladies, provided some insight into studying Melania.

“I always felt that she didn’t want to be the first lady and she was unapologetic about it,” Brower says. “She wasn’t interested in doing what we expected of her.”

This meant Melania often ran afoul of the public, especially after she decorated with those stabby, blood-red Christmas trees and began her #BeBest anti-bullying initiative. People really just didn’t “get” her or what she was trying to accomplish. First ladies are expected to present a softer side to the White House, which would undoubtedly be difficult for Melania, considering who her husband is.

Brower said she thinks Melania “lowered the bar” for what a first lady needs to accomplish during her time in the White House. Even as Donald Trump runs for president for a third time, she notes, “We don’t expect to see or hear from her. If we do, it’s surprising.” This is why Casey DeSantis is doing whatever she can to support her husband, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as he runs for the highest office in the land.

“Casey DeSantis is filling that more stereotypical wife, mother, advisor [role],” Brower says. “She reminds me a bit of Nancy Reagan. She’s his biggest protector.”

Donald Trump is now facing three major trials (which will soon likely be four if he’s indicted in the Georgia state election case) in 2024, and since we already know Melania prefers her privacy over public events, we can expect she won’t be by his side in the courtroom.

She’s striking out on her own path just as she always has and if she becomes first lady again, she’ll continue to defy expectations.

It’s just how she rolls. Frankly, I wish her belligerent, foul-mouthed, yellow-haired, tangerine husband was as quiet as she is. I can’t imagine another four years of being forced to deal with his nasty, divisive behavior.

Those trials definitely can’t begin soon enough!